Hes jokes

The orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home.

They say there’s a person capable of murder in every friendship group.

I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.

Why did the chicken cross the road? cuz he saw a chic 😉

Why can’t Michael Jackson get within 500 meters of a school?

Cause he’s dead.

Why was Michael Jackson so loved? He touched so many children in so many special ways.

Why does Santa have three gardens?

So he can Hoe Hoe Hoe!

A scarecrow got promoted because he was outstanding in his field.

Why did the lemon 🍋 go to the doctor 👩‍⚕️?

Because he had a sour stomach.

I saw a fat dude wearing a shirt that said "guess." I said 215kg, he didn't find it as funny.

My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.

Did you hear about the guy who got fired for having sex with his clients?

He was a great veterinarian.

Kurt Cobain didn't mean to kill himself. He was just so high he thought the shotgun was a bong.

His lyrics are so ironic but so true. "I'm not coming back". "I swear I don't have a gun."

Why can't Biden play chess?

Because he doesn't have the towers.

It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. “No,” says the neighbor. “The seat is empty.” “This is incredible,” said the man. “Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?” The neighbor says, “Well, actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.” “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible... But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat?” The man shakes his head. “No,” he says. “They’re all at the funeral.”

when Ted Bundy found out he was getting the death penalty, he was pretty shocked...

Did you hear about the kidnapping? Yeah, he woke up.

Have you heard about the guy whose friends teased him because he pays for sex? He doesn't pay anymore.

Why did Adolf Hitler like nuts? He only had one.

I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.

Stephen Hawking died because he accidentally lost his bluetooth connection.