Hes jokes

How do you find out if your kid is gay?

Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.

Where did JFK go in his car? I am not sure of his intentional destination, but he did go everywhere.

When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?

He is looking for children. If you don't know who EDP445 is, look him up.

Be careful around EDP445.

Why does Santa have three gardens?

So he can Hoe Hoe Hoe!

Why did the lemon 🍋 go to the doctor 👩‍⚕️?

Because he had a sour stomach.

Kurt Cobain didn't mean to kill himself. He was just so high he thought the shotgun was a bong.

His lyrics are so ironic but so true. "I'm not coming back". "I swear I don't have a gun."

I once fought with a man in a wheelchair.

He couldn't stand a chance.

It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. “No,” says the neighbor. “The seat is empty.” “This is incredible,” said the man. “Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?” The neighbor says, “Well, actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.” “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible... But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat?” The man shakes his head. “No,” he says. “They’re all at the funeral.”

when Ted Bundy found out he was getting the death penalty, he was pretty shocked...

Did you hear about the kidnapping? Yeah, he woke up.

Why did Adolf Hitler like nuts? He only had one.

Have you heard about the guy whose friends teased him because he pays for sex? He doesn't pay anymore.

Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line, he comes across a woman who isn't saluting.

"Why are you not saluting like the others?" Hitler barks.

"Mein Führer, I'm the nurse," she responds. "I'm not crazy!"

I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.

Stephen Hawking died because he accidentally lost his bluetooth connection.

Did Jesus die a virgin?

Nah, he got nailed...

So 6 is scared of 7 because 7, 8, 9, but why did 10 have PTSD?

He was stuck in the middle of 9/11.

Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?

He only comes once a year.

Why is Santa's sack so big? Because he only comes once a year.