what did Chris Brown say when he saw Rhianna
"I'd hit that"
A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He just stares them down and gets the information he wants.
When bob the builder looks at ur hairline he says we can't fix that
A boy is about to be sentenced for killing his parents. He begs the judge to spare his life. The judge asks for one good reason he should be shown any mercy. The boy replies, "I’m an orphan, your honor."
A preacher was selling a horse. A cowboy decided to buy the horse. The preacher told the cowboy to make the horse go, to say 'Thank God' and to stop the horse, to say ' Hallelujah'. The cowboy then rode off into the sunset until he came upon a cliff, searching his memory he yelled hallelujah and the horse stopped just before going off the cliff. Then the cowboy said 'Thank God".
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad role model? -- He doesn't stand for anything.
Why can’t Michael Jackson ever win in a race? Because he always comes in a little behind.
I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.
Why did Mozart kill all his chickens? When he asked who the best composer was they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach."
This boy was in school one day when he became desparate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"
The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."
So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."
When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"
The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."
Why did the ACLU blocked 🚫 📱 the cellphone number of ☺ of a christain nationalist minister because the christain nationalist had a virus on his cellphone 📱 and keep calling the ACLU because he wanted to join the ACLU because he wanted to become a card carrying member of the ACLU
Did you here about pillsbery dough boy he died of a yeast infection
A husband got a message from his neighbor one day. It read "Hey im sorry i had to tell you like this but i have been doing your wife for months now" The husband went to go grab his gun and shot his wife. He hid the evidence and a few hours later he got another message from his neighbor saying "Sorry meant using your wifi"
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
He couldn't see that well.
Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.
Why did the Secret Service detain Johnny Depp at the White House?
Because he was about to kick the cabinet.
Why is Santa always so jolly because he knows where all the naughty girls live?
Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese. -- He wants to make America grate again.
