Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
Hes Jokes
Why didn't the child go to school?
Because he died of a heroin overdose.
Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.
Why is it that a physically disabled gay white male will refuse to ask his boss that is an abled bodied gay white male for an increase in his paycheck?
Since he has a very big white dick in his mouth, that could be the reason why.
What did one slave owner say to the other slave owner when he couldn’t find his slave?
Don’t worry, I’ll rope him in.
Ali from Kazakhstan, he got small forehead, all his friends laugh. They say, "Ali, your forehead so tiny, you need magnifying glass to see!" But Ali, he not care, he proud of his unique look. When he wear hat, it look like top of mountain, so funny, everyone laugh with him. Ali know small forehead no problem, it make him special, like rare gem!
"Rajesh get on bus, so many people, squeeze here squeeze there. He daydream about naughty stuff, like coffee spill but not coffee. Bus move, stop, he press close to pretty lady, she smell nice. Rajesh think how funny if something else spill, make whole bus ride wild." He laugh to self, bus ride never boring now!
"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."
A Jew and a Jew walk into a bar. The goy says, "What do you want?" The first Jew says, "Give it alcohol." The second Jew says, "My son ran away and became Christian." Another Jew pipes in, he says, "My son too!" The bartender turns around and says, "You're not going to believe this..."
My dog is named Max, and he likes to eat dog food. Therefore, everyone named Max likes to eat dog food.
Why did the rapper go broke?
He kept dropping dimes.
Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head because his wife said he was close-minded?
I had a friend who got shot in the head.
Guess you could say he was...
Blown Away!
Why was 10 so scared? Because he was in the middle of 9/11.
The boy was sexually frustrated that he couldn’t have sex with girls, so he fingered his female cat.
"The dad was so horny he wanted to have sex with his wife, but his wife said no, so he fucked his daughter."
I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster.
Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
Why'd the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test? He's an excellent parallel Parker.
My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. "That's my stepladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."
