Why is Donald Trump so jealous of Usain Bolt?
Because he successfully finished a race!
Why is Donald Trump so desperate to break into the White House?
Most landlords cannot lease their properties to him due to the fact that he is a felon.
His name is Donald, but he looks like Goofy.
i can’t take my dog to the park anymore. why? the ducks keep trying to eat him. why would they do that? because he’s pure-bread.
How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19? She lost her taste.
a guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl he asked for her number and of course, she said no, he asked the bus driver for advice and he said that girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 pm and look for a statue of an angel so he dresses up as god goes to the grave and she sees him she says oh lord end my misery kill me now and he said only if you do something for me first she replied what is it oh mighty lord he said to have sex with me she agreed they had sex and when she was done sucking his dick he said I have something to tell you he took of his costume and said I'm the guy from the bus and she took off her costume I'm the bus driver. (does anyone remember this it's an old joke someone made or does no one remember this I didn't make this but it went smth like this)
Why did the Jew get an electric car?
Because he was afraid of the gas.
Why is 10 afraid?
Because he next to 9 and 11.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
Nah north korea got inspired by the fatman nuke that he also became a fatman with nukes
Why did the rapper sit on the clock?
He wanted to keep it real with TIME.
One day, little Johnny woke up to get a drink of water. He passed by his parents' bedroom and noticed sheets bouncing. He asked his dad what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." Little Johnny said, "Who is your partner?" Dad said, "Your mom." On his way up, he passed by his sister's room and noticed sheets bouncing around and asked what she’s doing. She said, "Playing cards with my boyfriend, Paul." The next day, Dad came to ask Johnny a question. The father noticed Johnny was still in bed and asked him what he was doing. He saw the sheet bouncing and asked Johnny what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." His dad asked him who his partner was. Little Johnny said, "You don’t need a partner if you have a good hand."
Why was the rapper bad at basketball?
He could only dribble rhymes.
Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
Why did the rapper become a locksmith?
Because he always had the KEYS!
Why did the rapper always carry a pencil?
In case he had to draw a crowd.
A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar.
He orders a beer.
Why’d Biden get fired from the supermarket He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread
What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
I took my 5 year old son to ride some roller coasters. I think he didn’t like it because I challenged him to a no hands contest.
He said, "But I don’t have any." He wanted to know what dark humor is. Now he knows what it is and what it feels like.
