Herring jokes

What did the girl with no hands get for her birthday?...

We don't know; she hasn't opened it yet.

A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.

A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"

Yo mama so fat and emo, we call her the rock and roll.

The parentless child stood as her orphanage was blown up by a kamikaze I had rented.

A 9-year-old girl lies on a hospital bed struggling to breathe as she waits for the doctor to come.

The doctor finally comes, and the little girl can breathe much easier after he pulls his cock out of her mouth.

Who did the bee 🐝 marry?

Her honey!

My friend's emo. I told her to play jump rope with me. She hanged herself. Lol.

Why'd Susie go down the slide too fast?

Because her wheelchair was good.

Hey, I got some Domino's pizza, salad, breadsticks, and chicken wings for everyone. Yeah, but make sure Ms. Mandingo gorilla don't eat all up, because if she do, I'm going have to shove it up her fur.

My sister and I were hanging out when she opened her drawer and pulled out 3 condoms and said, "Pick one."

This 15-year-old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed. Unfortunately, it killed her dad because it fell off the wall.

(Do you get the joke?)

(Her dad was on her, and it fell and killed him.)

Beth was from Spain and she had a pig. What did they call her?

Beth-la-ham

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already done told her twice.

About to go on a date.

But she was late.

So I got some tape.

And eventually punished her with rape.

A girl called me ugly.

So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.

Yo mama's so fat, she irons her clothes on the driveway.

So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.

Her boyfriend said "Hi."

I said, "Knife to meet you!"

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

She looked at me surprised.

(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as a helix ruler.)

How do you make an eight-year-old girl cry twice?

Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear after you’ve raped her.

A man is being sued for raping a deaf girl. The judge, showing his pinky:

"You should be ashamed, man, your conscience is even smaller than that!"

The girl, showing her arm:

"Mhhhmmhmm, mhhmhm!"