Herring jokes

So guys, I have a friend who is named Sarah, and I was riding bikes with her the other day, and she told me she is gay. I totally support her. I love that she is open about it and not scared to tell people about it. I hope you guys can support her too! I love you all! :)))

A virgin is what I called my daughter before I took that away from her.

Q: What do you call a cat living with a vet? A: A dead, shrivelled up cat on her death bed that is attached to their owner.

Isn't It Purrfect!

She'd suck my dick and let me suck her tits.

So, I went up to an Australian girl. She looked like she was 20, and I said, "Can I have your phone number, sweetheart?" She said, "696969." I said, "Oh, haha, okay." A few days later, her mother called me and said she's 15.

A German soldier was walking down the street in a hail storm and a woman got hit unconscious. He ran over to see if she was ok. Other people came running over. They asked what happened, and the German soldier said, "Hail hit her."

Why did Bella Thorne pass gas on "Shake It Up Chicago?" Because I gave her too split pea soup for breakfast.

How did they know that Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her Head and Shoulders in the glove box.

I’m here to collect my bounty, what’s your bounty? Your pants.

What did the marshmallow say when he was roasting in the fire? "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"

What does a baby banana call her mum? Na na, get it? Instead of ma ma.

One day I was working at the bank, doing my job. Then suddenly a woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over. Then I told her that her balance is un-balanced.

How did Mary get pregnant with baby Jesus?

God fucked her.

I rule my women with an IRON FIST!!

Yeah, literally an iron that my fist is clenching against her face.

When a person asked to see her balance at a bank, they pushed him over.

When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.

If a WOMAN gets RAPED, RUN INTO THE SECNE AND HELP HER.

Mary had a little lamb.

Key word is had, her dad's favorite meat is a human!

A kindergarten teacher asks her students, "Do you know any words that start with P?"

Little Timmy responds with, "Elmo."

Your mama is so stupid, when her phone died, she bared it, lol.