Herring jokes

I’m here to collect my bounty, what’s your bounty? Your pants.

What did the marshmallow say when he was roasting in the fire? "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"

What does a baby banana call her mum? Na na, get it? Instead of ma ma.

One day I was working at the bank, doing my job. Then suddenly a woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over. Then I told her that her balance is un-balanced.

Yo mama's so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out of the way.

Question: What is the BIG ADVANTAGE to going out on a date with a "Homeless Chic"?

Answer: After the date, you can "Drop Her Off" ANYWHERE!

I rule my women with an IRON FIST!!

Yeah, literally an iron that my fist is clenching against her face.

How did Mary get pregnant with baby Jesus?

God fucked her.

When a person asked to see her balance at a bank, they pushed him over.

When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.

If a WOMAN gets RAPED, RUN INTO THE SECNE AND HELP HER.

Mary had a little lamb.

Key word is had, her dad's favorite meat is a human!

Yo mama so fat that when he was talking to a man, her bowels fell out.

Yo mama so fat that John Cena couldn’t get her down with an Attitude Adjustment!

Yo mama so fat when The Rock hit her with a Rock Bottom, her big fat ass belly let all the pizza explode out of her belly!

Yo mama so fat that when she was in Uranus, she picked her butthole.

Did you know that Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her Head and Shoulders on the car dashboard.

*having sex on lexapro*

Her: Cum for me, baby!

Me: I'm trying!

Me: "WYD?"

Her: "Just dealing with a lot: depression, anxiety, and the feeling that I'll never be enough."

Me: "Without me? Lol"

Your mom is so fat nobody can compare her to anything.