Herring jokes

My wife and I went to the bar to get a drink, but 2 mins later, I see her dead on the ground. I guess she couldn't see the bottle flying at her face. Then I laughed and went home.

Her (DYM 88).

Coworker, why is Sara so blue?

Is it because Sara wishes she had a man? coworker she always watches you with your husband together out of love. You better watch out dear, she might "saraorize" him, with her crooked teeth and ultra-thin lips.

Kenya text: Guys, leave Gwen alone! Pls! It is not her fault...btw STOP AND GO TO ATHORE JOKES

Yo mama is so ugly that even Donald Trump couldn't be inside her dreams.

What’s red, 11 inches, and makes my girlfriend cry when I slap her with it?

Her miscarriage.

How come yo mama did not come straight home from work last night? Because her daughter had sex with her boyfriend and got drunk.

Well, the "HOLE" story is, I shoved it up her hole.

Yo mama is so ugly, even the ugliest person in the world looked like a sword standing next to her.

Him: I work with animals all day.

Her: Awwww what do you do?

Him: I'm a pornstar.

Yo mama's so dumb, her dad said, "You're driving me crazy," and she said, "I didn't know crazy was a place!"

What did Caesar call a person?

She-Caesar.

I looked at my daughter. I told her what's wrong.

She said I wasn't being a daddy to her until...

Yo mama is so stupid it takes her an hour to cook minute rice.

Q: What did the grandma cat say to her grandson when she saw him slouching?

A: You need to pay more attention to my pawsture.

How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.

I used to be a doctor, until a girl came in to get a kidney transplant, but I had to give her anal resizing surgery first.

Why couldn't the girl with no arms hug her parents?

Because she had none of the above.

Your mom is so fat the space shuttle can see her from 10,000 miles away.

How do you give an "Alabama Girl" a nice compliment?

Answer: You say to her, "Hey, NICE TOOTH!"