A virgin is what I called my daughter before I took that away from her.
Herring Jokes
I rule my women with an IRON FIST!!
Yeah, literally an iron that my fist is clenching against her face.
When a person asked to see her balance at a bank, they pushed him over.
When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.
If a WOMAN gets RAPED, RUN INTO THE SECNE AND HELP HER.
Mary had a little lamb.
Key word is had, her dad's favorite meat is a human!
How do you give a woman from Alabama a nice compliment?
Answer: You say to her, "Hey, nice tooth!"
I had sex with my German girlfriend; it was kinda weird though. She kept yelling her age. I don't know why.
Did I tell you I finally got my wife to scream during sex? Yeah, you should have heard her the other day when I walked in on her.
Your mama is so ugly, her reflection ran away!
Your mama's breath smells so bad, people can't wait for her to fart.
Your mama is so fat and stupid. She got hit by a school bus. Her reply was, "Who threw that Twinkie at me?"
Your mum is so fat, when the doctors did her x-ray, the doctor said to her, "I want your x-ray, not an elephant's x-ray!"
Your mama is so old, she made a book bigger than the Bible about her life.
Your mama is so fat. Her high school picture is an aerial photograph.
Your mama is so fat, guys have to bring climbing equipment to have sex with her.
A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
Your mom is so ugly her face would split in half when she sees you.
Yo mama so fat, a bus ran into her and she said, "WHO THREW THAT TWINKIE AT ME?!"
