Herring jokes

Magician

A magician walks up to a girl and asks her to feel the rabbit in the magician's hat.

The magician asks the girl to rub the rabbit. The girl notices the rabbit sticks up and drools; the hat was covering the hips.

Bank

I was at the bank yesterday.

A lady asked to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Mama

Your mama is so fat, by the time I swerved to miss her with the car, I ran out of gas.

Mama

Your mama is so old, her first Christmas, she was a Wiseman's +1.

Memes

Friend

That one friend who decides her life is a lie after her crush don´t like her back.

A person with black painted eyebrows, eyelashes, and lips. There is no text on the image.

Fat

Aitana is so fat that Thanos had to clap for her to disappear.

Momma

Your momma so fat she can feed [the] entire continent of Africa with her fat!

Mum

What's the similarity between your mum and West Ham?

Your mum blows spunk bubbles from her ass.

Wife

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies.

She is not “fun to be around.”

Woman

I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.

Guy

You look like the type of guy to wash his/her hands after a shower! (And don't write in the comments that there are more than 2 genders.)

Yo Momma

Yo momma's legs are like cottage cheese: white and chunky.

Yo momma's so dirty that when I asked what was for dinner, she sat on the table, opened her legs, and said "Crabs."

Grandma

My grandma just died from cancer.

My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”

Time

How you know it’s her time in MJ's house?

When the big hand touches the little hand.

Emo

Why does the emo's mom like taking her son to the store?

Because the cashier can scan his wrist for discounts!

Nun

A nun going down a water shoot? She never felt so wet in all her life!