Herring jokes

Her Name was Lola. She was a loner. At the Copa I saw her And I just wanted to bone her!

Her name was Lola.

She was a loner.

At the Copa.

Then I saw her,

And I got a boner.

The next morning,

She couldn't remember if I banged her.

At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.

Me: I have the body of a 28 year old.

Her: Prove it.

Me: (opens freezer)

My sister is really disrespectful, and her famous words are, "You're not my parent!" The next time she says this, I'm going to respond back with, "You're right, because I would have worn a condom to protect from you being born unlike my dad did!"

A 7-foot-tall man walks into a restaurant with his 4-foot-tall girlfriend, and the maitre d' says to the waiter, “He must be nuts over her.”

Her (DYM 101).

What did Lucy say when she saw her sonogram?

"Looks like a rerun."

After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer.

The woman goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against the man and explains why.

Her (DYM 70).

Madeline Mcannot find her.

A man has been dating a girl forever. He finally says, "I love you." The girl says, "Aww, thanks." The man looks at her, "Are you not gonna say it back?" The girl says, "No, I can’t."

I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."

Yo mama so fat that when she saw Thanos and he tried to snap her out of existence, it didn't work, and he said, "Man, I quit!"

Do you know the teacher that went up into space?

You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."

Your mum is so fat, when I was driving I had to swerve to avoid [her]. By the time I had finished, I had ran out of gas.

Yo mama so fat, every time she measures her carbon footprint the website breaks.

Yo momma's so stupid, her family tree is a telephone pole.

I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.

I gave my sister a compliment and said she's pretty, then while she was saying thanks, I said, "pretty ugly."

Me: You are pretty. Her: Thanks. Me: Pretty ugly.