Herring jokes

Me: "Hey, get my joke on that timeline."

Her: "No."

My wife is so fat, I took her to the Macy's Day parade. They attached ropes to her.

My wife is the only person that has "missing" posters attached to her ass.

My wife is so fat. She buys her clothes at Tent & Awning!

Your mama is so stupid. We were playing catch, and I told her to go deep. She grabbed a shovel and dug a hole.

Your mama is such a hoe! It took her 4 attempts to pass her driving test. She couldn't get used to the front seat.

Your mama is so stupid, her phone died, so she buried it in the backyard!

My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.

Listen, my brothers, if you see a photo of her with another person,

Just go to her house and shoot her with your AK47.

Yo momma so fat that it was hard to find the G spot and slip her one at night.

Jack & Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy...but Jack got a shock and a mouth full of c0ck cuz Jill's real name was Randy.

Her Name was Lola. She was a loner. At the Copa I saw her And I just wanted to bone her!

Her name was Lola.

She was a loner.

At the Copa.

Then I saw her,

And I got a boner.

The next morning,

She couldn't remember if I banged her.

Why is Jenna Marbles so funny? She lost all her marbles.

At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.

Your mom is so hairy that King Kong got jealous of her.

What did Helen Keller's mother do to her when she was mad at her?

She left the plunger in the toilet, she put doorknobs on all the walls, and she rearranged the furniture.

How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.

I lost my job at the bank. Some lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her.

I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.