Herring jokes

Yo mama so fat, she needs 500,000 calories a day to keep her fueled.

Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.

"The only way I'd want to be reincarnated is if I can be reincarnated as a man," said the young woman.

"Why?" said her friend.

"Oh, I don't know, just men are so cool,"

"Is that the only reason?" said her friend.

"Maybe........" said the young woman. "Maybe."

Yo mama is so ugly that Kanye West went East to get away from her.

Yo mama is so ugly that James Charles rejected her.

A magician walks up to a girl and asks her to feel the rabbit in the magician's hat.

The magician asks the girl to rub the rabbit. The girl notices the rabbit sticks up and drools; the hat was covering the hips.

Why didn’t the grape 🍇 leave her family?

Because she loved raisin' kids!

I gave Helen Keller an Oculus and AirPods for her 12th birthday, and she hated them and me.

Yo mama is so retarded, they tell her it was gonna be chilly outside, she went and got a bowl!

Yo mama so fat, her cereal bowl has a lifeguard.

I asked the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.

Picture of yo mama last Christmas and the damn thing’s still printing.

Your mom is so fat Buzz Lightyear had to say "To infinity to beyond" to leave her house.

A woman walks out of the bathroom, winks at her husband and says, “I shaved down there; you know what that means.”

The husband responds, “Yeah, the drain is clogged.”

What comment did the United States Senator Kamla Harris make when one of her 64% blue dog democrat constituents called her incompetent?

"Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits!"

If Kamala Harris is Indian, why doesn’t she have that dot on her head?

So she claims to be.

And the only black color I know is when you shut off the lights.

Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.

I was at the bank yesterday.

A lady asked to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Your mama is so old, her first Christmas, she was a Wiseman's +1.

Your mama is so fat, by the time I swerved to miss her with the car, I ran out of gas.