“Your mother has been with us for 20 years,” said John. “Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?” “My mother?” replied Helen. “I thought she was your mother.”
Yo mama's so fat, I swerved to miss her in my car and ran out of gas
I got barred from weight watchers today it wasn't my fault it was the fat ass next to me who spilled her box of maltesers onto the floor in the middle of the room all i did was say that it was the funniest game of hungry hungry hippo's that I have ever seen
yo mamma so fat when God said let there be light he was just asking her to get out the way
I got fired my first day at the bank this old lady told me to check her balance so I pushed her over
Hello! I'm Taylor, and this is my life story with me and my ex girl. so when i was little, i met this girl. her name was Leah. we were besties for a while until i turned 13. then i asked if she wanted to date me. she said yes! but one day, in the middle of school, she was talking to another man!!!!!!! AND THEY HUGGED AND KISSED EACH OTHER ON THE CHEEK!!!!!! Then, she told me she hated me. i was so upset!!!!!!!! Whatever you do, don't follow the ugly rat!!!!!!!!! <3
What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period? One is finger-licking good and the other is just a fast-food restaurant.
How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat. She said nothing, so I took her to Africa
What do you call it when Hitler abuses his wife?
Adolf Hit Her
My wife told me I could never ever build a car out of spaghetti , you should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta
my ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends. so she said i was usless in bed. should have seen her face when they all disagreed.
Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?" Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"
-the emo went 2 give the tree a high 5 but the emo was left hanging - how did the gay person die? homocide -why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? he was cutting in line - when does a joke turn into a dad joke? when it leaves and never comes back -I cried when my dad chopped onions. onions was such a good dog -I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away -how is the person over there different the cancer? his dad didn't beat cancer
I hope u like this it took 5 minutes to make. what's_up also has good jokes to favorite him/her/them plz
A guy gets home from work to seeing his gf packing and he asks her why are you packing and the girl says cause i found out your a Pedophilia and the guy goes a Pedophilia and she says yes and the guy goes thats a big word for a 12 year old
DARK ALERT******** a girl went 2 the doctor the doctor said she had 1yr to live she shot the doctor and the judge gave her 15 yrs. DARK ALERT********
Jack and Jill Went up the hill to have some hanky panky. Silly Jill forgot her pill. And now there's little Franky.
wo(man) fe(male) we(men)
dishwash(her)
Yo mama so ugly, she has a sign in her garden saying, ‘Beware of the dog!’
I got my job at a bank and lost the job the day I got it- a lady asked me to check her balance..... so- I pushed her...
