Herring Jokes

Yo mama is so pretty, she could get in a car crash because boys are staring at her.

Yo mama is so fat she can't even get in her own car because she's fat.

Yo mama so scary, the government moved Halloween to her birthday!

Yo mama so short, she went to see Santa and he told her to get back to work!

Yo mama is so big, her belt size is "equator."

Yo mama's so poor, the ducks throw bread at her.

Yo mama's so ugly, her birth certificate is an apology letter.

Yo mama's so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.

Yo mama's so old, her social security number is one.

Yo mama's so stupid, she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.

Yo mama's so stupid, it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.

Yo mama's so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"

Yo mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.

Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.

Yo momma's so fat, it takes her 1,000,000 hours on the toilet.

Yo momma so fat, a picture of her would fall off the wall!

Yo momma is so old, her birthday's expired.

Yo mama so fat she has her own gravity.

But she so ugly people are repelled by her.

Yo momma's so fat that even Dora can't explore her.

My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.