Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? Yeah, he was tired.
A retired George W. Bush is eating a donut at 7/11 and looks at it. "I'm so happy I did that." A guy overhears the conversation and says, "You're happy you bought that donut? Oh haha, I would be too. I love donuts!" George W. Bush then says, "Oh hahaha, you caught me," and then says, "Oh hahaha, you must have heard me wrong. I said, I'm so happy I did 9/11."
It was the year 1912. I was in the SS Titanic, and I woke from a dream to think, "I've heard of wet dreams, but is that WATER?"
I heard there making a film about Jimmy savill it's a very touchy subject
I heard the film about Is so boring it puts u to sleep
I heard an unusual word the other day: "Opaque"
Unfortunately, what it means is unclear.
I was remembering the time when lost my brother, only until I heard that hide and seek wasn't the best Idea especially in a secluded parking lot in downtown.
Have you heard about the smart traveler? He's clearly going places.
Did you hear about the Boston marathon? 'Cause, well, I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away!
So I heard Kenny's mom got moved to a nursing home.
He'll probably leave her alone now.
He doesn't eat vegetables.
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimers? Yeah, neither have they.
I entered kians house, at the top of the stair i was greeted my greatest fantasy, JOHN, he said in a manly tone, "hello there" i walked slowly up the stairs and greeted him back, as i walk past his room i felt uneasy , i walk into kians room to find no one, i turn around and gasp, john is standing there, a bulge had appeared and poked me as he got nearer, he pushed me onto kians bed, the bed was that bad it broke as i fell onto it, john says "a broken is nothing to worry about" i look up at him in disbelief, hes more masculine than i thought, he thrust himself onto me, his crotch area sticky to the touch, he then ripped a fart as he bent over, at this point i knew it was to late john, the fart he ripped(sticky to the touch) had me so in shock i wasnt ready for what was next, he picked and jamp on my head ripping the most monstrous, enormous, deadyl, sticky to the touch fart id ever seen, it knocked me out, i awoke to find i was in the WALLS, i looked out to find i was in the glory hole, my worst nightmare had become reality, i fully understood my purpose in life was to the holy glory hole, i heard "GRANDAD CAN I GET SOME V-BUCK" i then knew i was in for some kian treats The end
I was staying over at my friends, for the purpose of the joke he shall be called kian. It was 03.00 am and everyone else was asleep when i heard a soft banging on the wall. I left the room to inspect it, Kian lived with his grandad John Hauge it was thought he had a huge slong. The banging was getting louder and so to was my heartbeat, i opened John's door and ventured into the room. John was fully naked, there was a glory hole threw the wall where i could make it kians ass. This is what i have been waiting for. I rip off my shorts which Ali G bought for me, and silently moved towards john. I shoved 1 inch wonder in his ear. John furiously turned around and slapped me with his cock, "you little gimp get on the bed". Kian came in the room with a 2 litre bottle of irn bru, he demanded "what the fudge are you doing". I replied smoothly "Kian you tracksuit warrior you have a camel toe" Kian fires back "shut it paul you have genital warts". John screams "SHUT THE FUCK UP." He then gives us it so rough i can't walk the next day, but feel pleasured for eternity.
By Lewis
Boy: Have you heard of the cool kid who just told us he had autism Teacher: What? Boy: Well... Never mind, he's well supported
Have you heard of the new book about Anti-Gravity? Well I just can't seem to put it down
"Déjà moo": The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
Have you heard of the... uh Pokemon called uh rhy... rhy... Rhydon deez nuts?
Have you ever eaten a clock before? I heard it’s very time consuming
I told a Seal a joke it went like "Why did the kid cross the playground" he said "why?" I said "To get to the other slide" and then he said "thats the sealiest thing Ive ever heard"
Guy 2 whispering: Oh, I got tired of acting gay.
Guy 1: I heard you. Why are you acting gay?
Guy 2: To attract gays and then give them advice.
Guy 1: So what's your advice to me?
Guy 2: That I just know you're gay.
LOL xD
A sad guy called "nun" is crying next to the grave of his best friend called "month" , "month" got killed by a gay guy and after that "nun" got homophobic.
While "nun" 's sitting next to "month" 's grave he heard a guy asks his friend : 《Do You Wanna Play A Game On ? 》 , "Nun" get angry and he asks that guy : 《 What did you just said to your friend ? 》 , the guy answers : 《 A game on , why ? 》
"Nun" kills the two guys .
🤔
