Have jokes
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.
To a Mexican person: When I first met you, I thought you were going to say, "My name is Enrique, I have a job for you."
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common?
Once they're gone, they never come back.
A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.
Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"
Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"
Priest: "Fuck the children."
Rabbi: "Do we have time?"
Priest: "There's always time for something like that."
When a girl was having an asthma attack, Ariana said, "Just keep breathing and breathing and breathin!!!!!"
History meme for y’all
What do dead babies and fruit have in common? Both can become smoothies with the help of a blender!
Beast joke ever: my life... Oh wait, I don't have one.
Why can’t orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call DADDY! 😩
I have sex.
Why does Wet have a big head? Because he got hit by a wetaroid!
I would say something funny, but I would have to dig someone up.
2 weeks here.
What do dicks and popsicles have in common?
They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.
My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life.
I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.
Me: Shut up! If you don't shut up, I'm gonna tell your parents!
You: Why? I don't have any.
Q: What did one atom say to the other?
A: I have my ion you.
I have a ton of work to do... A skele-TON.
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued oh how I wish I was dead so that I no longer have to brood.
Death would be a reprieve as I would no longer have to be true, and I would no longer have to be around any of you.
Who would win?
The laws of the Catholic Church which have been effective for over 900 years,
Or one horny Henry?
I have a joke about death.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Think about it :)
Me: Have you seen a Mr. Weewoo?
Most people: No.
Me: He drives the ambulance downstairs.