Have jokes
I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.
A man was taking a child into a dark forest.
The child said, "I'm scared!"
The man replied, "Well I have to walk home alone."
Why do melons always have big weddings?
Because they cantaloupe!
I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6 AM, but wake up at 7 AM. And it's not even a joke.
Both man and woman have balls, but they like to play with the ball of each other because a person always loves what they don't have. 😁
I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.
They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."
What did one skeleton say to the other?
Skeleton 1: "I need a hand!"
Skeleton 2: (Throws up hand)
Skeleton 1: "That wasn't very humerus."
Skeleton 2: "Why do you have to be so heartless?"
Skeleton 1: "At least I had the guts to tell you!"
What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?
They both got a 10% survival rate...
What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?
John fucked them both in the rear.
Why don't ants get sick?
Because they have anty-bodies.
Why does the owl 🦉 have a lot of friends?
Because he’s a hoot.
Why do they have fences around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in.
Yo mama so hairy, her knuckles have sideburns.
Why does Joe only have 264 days in his calendar?
Because he can't celebrate Father's Day.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t have a home to run to.
Why do orphans always get an iPhone X?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
Why are vegetarians so good at giving head? Because they’re used to having nuts in their mouth.
Why do orphans only have 362 days of the year?
... bc they don’t have Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, or Thanksgiving.
What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What do hookers and porn stars have in common? They get paid for sex and get STD's.