Have jokes

Jimmy Savile should have presented Pop off the Tops instead of Top of the Pops.

Why can't orphans play video games?

Because they don't have their parent's email.

My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.

Child abortion is like tax evasion: the more you lose, the less problems you have.

I don't have a joke, I just have a friend named Jack.

Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?

A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.

Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?

That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.

What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common?

There used to be two, but now it's a touchy subject.

A few men have curved penises, but they can fix that problem by straightening it out.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "I know you wanna!"

Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun,

But stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.

You also have to learn to say no. For example: "Would you like a piece of cake?" "No, I'd like two."

What do the Nicaraguan Contras, Crips, and Crack have in common? The CIA.

Women should have the right to choose whether they want to do cooking or cleaning first.

Why couldn’t the orphan run away from home?

Because it didn’t have one.

What do high school kids and Dow have in common? They both test chemicals.

What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.

I'm so poor I have to put my Big Mac burger on layaway.

Why doesn't the orphan have a nationality?

He doesn't have a motherland.

My back is straighter than I am, and I literally have scoliosis.

Why do orphans not like 1st-5th grade teachers?

Because they have a home room.