Have jokes
You also have to learn to say no. For example: “Would you like a piece of cake?” - “No, I would like two.”
What do a male pornstar and an emo have in common?
They are both hung.
What do British politics and transgender people have in common?
Both aren't what they used to be...
Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high-ranking position in the US government?
Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?
Have you guys heard about the crazy shadow glitch in the game Sonic X? Just google "Sonic X Shadow."
My first football game was a lot like my first time having sex.
I was bloody, sore, and but at least my dad came.
My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
My wife hates that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and went right.
I have done a ton of work. A skele-ton.
Why can't orphans play on a computer?
'Cause they have no motherboard.
Why are you so white?
Because you have no lotion on.
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
Oh wait, I'm thinking of...
Why did the orphan cry when he got back home?
Because he did not have one.
My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.
Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.
She lets him play anyway and I don't.
Papyrus: Sans, I have a joke. What do you call someone lazy and incompetent?
Sans: What do you call them?
Papyrus: YOU! NOW GET UP AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM, YOU LAZY BONES!
What does a knife have but not my life...
A point.
Sometimes I look back at everything bad I have done. I tell myself it's ok, they're just telling me to keep myself safe :)
That's it, it wasn't a joke.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t have a home to run to.
Why can’t orphans be married?
Because they won’t have their parents' blessings.
Your hairline is so bad when you need a role model who has been having a tough life, you go to your barber.