Have jokes
What do me and an emo kid have in common:
We both like to hang.
The first time you have to do a full body workout in chess.
What do CG artists and porn stars have in common?
They both composite (cum pose it) at the end.
What do the Twin Towers and my Mom have in common? They both went down on my dad.
Why can't orphans be gay? They don't have a closet to come from.
Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."
Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."
Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."
Teacher: "*stands up*"
Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't have a closet to come out of.
Bro, Asian girls have the weirdest names. I was fucking one and she kept on saying, "I'm Tu Yung."
What does a volcano say when it has a runny nose?
"I have runny volcanoes."
What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date?
She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.
Me: Can I have your chair? 💺 You: Why? Me: For charity.
Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.
Man's friend: Same.
Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.
Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.
Man: Oh great heavens!
Why does the orphan have water with its cereal?
Their dad never came back with the milk.
I heard you were looking for a stud...
I already have the STD; all I need is you.
I had a terrifying experience last night. I was alone in the house having a bath... when all of a sudden... I felt a tap on my shoulder.
What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang from trees.
What does Micheal Jackson and a rock have in common?
They are both hard.
I have a fish that can breakdance, but only for 20 seconds and only once.
Why can orphans only watch G-rated movies?
Because they have no parental guidance.
There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.
On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."
So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.