Have jokes
Yes, I have gained weight. I have also gained more brains. Do you want some? You talk like you definitely need some more.
Why can't emos have ADD?
'Cause they are already scatter-brained.
What does Kobe now have in common with his helicopter?
They both have torn rotators.
Why do most guns in America have an average mag/clip size of only 30?
Because that's the average class size in America.
Don’t blame Bush; he is white. It couldn’t have been him.
I spy with my little eye something starting with, actually I have TWO normal eyes.
How are humans and computers different? A human doesn't have trouble shooting.
Why do orphan kids never eat homemade food? Because they don’t even have one!
Why are Americans bad at Clash of Royals?
Because they have already lost two towers!
Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"
The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."
Why do orphans have no parents?
Because it was Batman!
What does Michael Jackson and an ant have in common? They are both innocent.
A kid told me to go get a dad, so I punched the kid. He went to tell his parents. Oh wait, he can't, 'cause he's an orphan, and orphans have no parents.
Why do orphans go to church?
Because there they have a father.
What does a dick and an elderly person have in common? They are both short.
What do Hitler's gas "shower" and guns have in common? They both kill someone.
Mother, father, and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie.
During dinner time: Father: Son, what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix, Dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: Okay! Okay! I watched porn, Dad. Dad: What? You watched porn? You are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 years of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: started to laugh and said, "Sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!
Why are 10-pin bowlers always in pain?
Because their balls have holes in them.
Face the truth, Jake could have went on the door, but Rose wanted him to die.
Stop blaming Bush. He is white, it couldn’t have been him.