Have jokes
Q: What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common?
A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warm up after a few strokes.
African Kid: "Mom, can we have water?"
Mom: "Sure, it's in the house."
African Kid: *Goes to the fridge and opens the door searching for cold water*
The fridge: ERROR 404 Water Not Found
What does Jesus have in common with Pinocchio?
They believe their own lies.
Woman do have rights!
How does a disabled person play chess?
I think you forgot they don't have legs.
Are your parents bakers? Because you're a cutie pie.
Are you a loan? Because you've got my interest.
Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!
If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.
Are you an artist? Because you’re really good at drawing me in.
I believe in following my dreams. Can I have your Instagram?
If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.
If you were a flower, you'd be a daaaaaamn-delion!
I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.
Wife: "You don't even have friends!"
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They have no home to run to.
I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... She died of hearing aids.
Wanna hear a joke? Women have no rights!
What do orphans and olden day actors have in common?
Both get food thrown at them some of the time.
"Prostitutes love their jobs; they're always having a blast!"
Some jokes are best left not harassed by those who are offended by them.
For I have everyone's IP address.
They say we will have eternal life when Jesus is no longer coming.
Have you heard about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
I was the person that flew into the Twin Towers. I have two friends that are both twins, and whenever they speak, I tell them to shut up because if they don't, I'll make myself explode in them.
A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."
Is it necrophilia if they die while you're having sex and you just don't realize?
That's what happened to my dog.
Have you heard the 9/11 joke yet?... It was pretty fire.
Why can't orphans be gay? They have nobody to call "daddy."