Have jokes
What did Hitler and Usain Bolt have in common?
They both finished the races.
What does a sad cowboy and a supernatural fan have in common?
Both want to put a Winchester in their mouth.
The orphan wanted to call home sick, but there was no one.
The orphan went to school to have food, but there was no money in his account.
So a lady was walking down the street with two bags, and one of the bags was leaking $100 bills. A cop pulls up and he says, “Ma’am, ma’am, your bag is leaking hundred dollar bills.” Then she says, “Oh, thank you. I wonder how long that’s been going on.” And the cop says, “Before I help you, may I ask why your bag is leaking $100 bills?” And the lady says, “OK, I’ll tell you. So I live next to a stadium, and I have this beautiful rose garden, but these dumb teenagers always try and pee on the rosebushes. So they stick their junk through the fence, and I grab their junk. I said, ‘$100 dollars or it’s coming off.’” The cop says, “Oh, OK, well what’s the other bag for?” And she says, “Well, not all of them want to give me $100.”
What does the plane that hit the Twin Towers and milk have in common?
My dad went to get both and never came back.
When does a pentagon have 4 sides?
When a plane is in one of the sides.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
I have a pen, I have an Apple, um, Apple pen.
The Taliban had a plane, the US had a building boom, 9/11.
Me: I will f**k ur mom.
Orphan: I don't have one.
Me: ......
Have anyone seen my balls? I can't find them on my chest.
Hey! My balls are on your thing!
Why can’t the orphan get any of the new iPhones?
'Cause none of them have a home button.
Tired of having to cut your grass? Dye it blue, and it will die itself.
These jokes have a good build up, but in the end, they all come crashing down.
Why does Joe only have 264 days in his calendar?
Because he can't celebrate Father's Day.
One day, Billy's teacher asked him, "I heard your mom had a baby. What did she have?"
Billy paused and thought for a moment and said, "I think she had a bicycle."
"Now Billy, you know that your mom didn't have a bicycle. What did she have?"
"Maybe it was a tricycle."
"Billy, don't stand there and lie to me. We're going to the principal's office right now!"
The teacher grabbed Billy and escorted him to the principal's office and explained what happened. The principal looked sternly at Billy and said, "Stop lying, Billy. You know your mom didn't have a bicycle or a tricycle. What did your mother have?"
Billy looked up, fear in his eyes and said, "Well, maybe she had a go-cart."
That was more than enough. "I'm calling your mother right now!"
Soon, Billy's mother arrived at the principal's office. "It seems that Billy has decided to start telling lies. His teacher asked him what you recently had, and he said a bicycle, then a tricycle, then a go-cart!"
Billy's mother teared up, and through her sobs, replied to the principal and teacher, "No. Sadly, I had a miscarriage."
Billy sat up straight and said, "I KNEW that damn thing had wheels!"
Why did Michael Jackson become white? He wanted to be like a ghost, and I have any feeheet.
What does a zebra and I have in common?
We both have stripes.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
Please like this. I bet my friend 20 bucks that I would get to 15 likes before him.
This is not a joke. Have you ever thought about it? You’re an emo while wearing black. So what if you are black? Does that mean you’re an emo because you are black and emos wear black? ;)
Your hairline's so messed up that even Martin Luther King Jr. couldn't have a dream about it.