Hate

Hate jokes

Attention

13 views ·

I hate likebeggars. They are just writing some stupid "like if" shit just to get attention. I mean, that's so lazy, so unoriginal, and stupid.

Anyways, can this get 100 likes, please?

Necrophilia

416 views ·

A man is walking on a bridge and sees a lady over the railing.

Man: "Ah, suicidal eh? Are you gonna jump?" Lady: "Yep. I hate this world." Man: "Well, if you're gonna die, can we have sex before you jump?" Lady: "Hell no! You creep!" Man: "Ok, fine. I guess I'll just wait until your corpse washes onto the shore."

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  • Bus Driver

    64 views ·

    So little Johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.

    "If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!"

    "If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!"

    And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:

    "Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?"

    Little Johnny smiled and said: "A bus driver!"

    Therapist

    47 views ·

    My therapist told me to write angry letters to those that upset me and never send them.

    He is really going to hate the letter he never gets.

    Bank robbery

    15 views ·

    Me: Do you ever just walk into a room and forget what you were doing?

    Bank teller: [eyes wide] Uhhhhh...

    Me: *scratches head with gun* Man, I hate it when this happens.

    Rizz

    35 views ·

    Rizz,

    Are you a biographer? Cause I picture us together.

    Can I take a picture of you for I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

    No pen, no paper, you still draw my attention.

    You know what I hate about math? They always talk about x and y, but not about u and i.

    Stroke

    175 views ·

    Never take a person canoeing or kayaking if they had a cerebrovascular accident.

    They’ll hear the one word they hate the most: “STROKE, STROKE, STROKE!”

    Coat Hanger

    157 views ·

    I'm not saying I hate you. I'm just saying that if I could go back in time, I'd give your mom a coat hanger.

    Wheelchair

    147 views ·

    When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.

    “They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”

    Shooting

    569 views ·

    Three rednecks, Billy, Joe, and John, are talking about their hobbies. They agree on shooting. John says, "I like shooting animals." Joe says, "I like shooting birds." Billy says, "I like shooting cans." Joe and John ask, "What kind of cans, like bear cans, Pepsi cans, or cola cans?" Billy responds, "Africans, Mexicans, Jamaicans, and Asian Americans."

    Monopoly

    305 views ·

    I'm in jail for 5 minutes and I already got fucked 15 times. You don't have any idea how much I hate playing Monopoly with my dad.