Hate

Hate jokes

Attention

  • I hate likebeggars. They are just writing some stupid "like if" shit just to get attention. I mean, that's so lazy, so unoriginal, and stupid.

    Anyways, can this get 100 likes, please?

  • 6
  • Necrophilia

  • A man is walking on a bridge and sees a lady over the railing.

    Man: "Ah, suicidal eh? Are you gonna jump?" Lady: "Yep. I hate this world." Man: "Well, if you're gonna die, can we have sex before you jump?" Lady: "Hell no! You creep!" Man: "Ok, fine. I guess I'll just wait until your corpse washes onto the shore."

  • 7
  • Therapist

  • My therapist told me to write angry letters to those that upset me and never send them.

    He is really going to hate the letter he never gets.

  • 0
  • Bank robbery

  • Me: Do you ever just walk into a room and forget what you were doing?

    Bank teller: [eyes wide] Uhhhhh...

    Me: *scratches head with gun* Man, I hate it when this happens.

  • 4
  • Stroke

  • Never take a person canoeing or kayaking if they had a cerebrovascular accident.

    They’ll hear the one word they hate the most: “STROKE, STROKE, STROKE!”

  • 2
  • Rizz

  • Rizz,

    Are you a biographer? Cause I picture us together.

    Can I take a picture of you for I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

    No pen, no paper, you still draw my attention.

    You know what I hate about math? They always talk about x and y, but not about u and i.

  • 1
  • Shooting

  • Three rednecks, Billy, Joe, and John, are talking about their hobbies. They agree on shooting. John says, "I like shooting animals." Joe says, "I like shooting birds." Billy says, "I like shooting cans." Joe and John ask, "What kind of cans, like bear cans, Pepsi cans, or cola cans?" Billy responds, "Africans, Mexicans, Jamaicans, and Asian Americans."

  • 2
  • Heritage

  • Neo-Confederates all claim to be about "heritage" not "hate". Well, if your heritage consists of Kelly Clarkson, riding on siblings, and treating Donald Trump as if he's the second coming, then it really sucks to be you.

  • 1
  • Monopoly

  • I'm in jail for 5 minutes and I already got fucked 15 times. You don't have any idea how much I hate playing Monopoly with my dad.

  • 0
  • Act

  • I've always been suicidal. Some might say, "Why haven't I actually done the act?" I'll just say, well, I hate myself too much so I thought I'd stay around for the punishment of staying alive.