Hate jokes

A man is walking on a bridge and sees a lady over the railing.

Man: "Ah, suicidal eh? Are you gonna jump?" Lady: "Yep. I hate this world." Man: "Well, if you're gonna die, can we have sex before you jump?" Lady: "Hell no! You creep!" Man: "Ok, fine. I guess I'll just wait until your corpse washes onto the shore."

What kind of chocolate does a lesbian hate?

Ones that contain nuts.

Click the 👍 if you hate school.

Why do orphans hate milk? Cause their family is still shopping for it!

So little Johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.

"If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!"

"If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!"

And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:

"Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?"

Little Johnny smiled and said: "A bus driver!"

My therapist told me to write angry letters to those that upset me and never send them.

He is really going to hate the letter he never gets.

I hate child murderers, they're always so high-pitched.

Me: Do you ever just walk into a room and forget what you were doing?

Bank teller: [eyes wide] Uhhhhh...

Me: *scratches head with gun* Man, I hate it when this happens.

Rizz,

Are you a biographer? Cause I picture us together.

Can I take a picture of you for I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

No pen, no paper, you still draw my attention.

You know what I hate about math? They always talk about x and y, but not about u and i.

Never take a person canoeing or kayaking if they had a cerebrovascular accident.

They’ll hear the one word they hate the most: “STROKE, STROKE, STROKE!”

The ones you hate most are also the ones who are by your side most.

I'm not saying I hate you. I'm just saying that if I could go back in time, I'd give your mom a coat hanger.

Why do Nazis not wear necklaces, rings, and bracelets? Because they hate jewelry.

Why do orphans hate hide n seek?

'Cause they can't find their parents.

Why do dwarfs hate fast food restaurants? Cause most of them have medium and large.

When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.

“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”

I hate it when disabled people get bullied...

... because they can't stand up for themselves.

I'm in jail for 5 minutes and I already got fucked 15 times. You don't have any idea how much I hate playing Monopoly with my dad.

What’s the difference between Disney+ and P*rnhub?

Disney+ wants you to hate your stepmother.

I've always been suicidal. Some might say, "Why haven't I actually done the act?" I'll just say, well, I hate myself too much so I thought I'd stay around for the punishment of staying alive.