I hate these double standards.
If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".
I hate family reunions.
I see too many of my ex's there.
What game does an emo hate the most?
Cut the Rope.
Why do Republican men hate transgender people?
Because they lost a dick-measuring contest to a ladyboy in Thailand!
It's ironic that the more other people love you, the more you hate yourself.
What song do orphans hate the most? "We are family."
A black boy walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!” The boy finds his father and says, “Look Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the boy back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” The boy replies, “I’ve only been a white boy for five minutes and I already hate you black people!”
Like this post to give someone you hate bad luck.
I was having issues in my personal and professional life. I hated everyone. I was on the brink of a mental breakdown and depression. I decided to see a therapist about it. The therapist suggested that I should write letters to the people I hate and then burn them. I must admit I feel much better...
But now I don't know what to do with the letters.
Hate when my phone dies instead of me :))
Stop hating on pedos. At least they drive slow in school zones.
Why does Helen Keller hate the national anthem? Oh, say, can you see?
I hate people who get offended here, like seriously, it's called dark humor for a reason.
What kind of chocolate does a lesbian hate?
Ones that contain nuts.
Why did Hitler never go to a strip club?
He hated the Poles.
What do gay people and mice have in common?
They both hate pussy cats!
I hate my wife.
Neo-Confederates all claim to be about "heritage" not "hate". Well, if your heritage consists of Kelly Clarkson, riding on siblings, and treating Donald Trump as if he's the second coming, then it really sucks to be you.
What do fat demons hate? Exorcise.
Dentist: Open up, sir.
Me: So... I hate my life, my family, my sisters, my dog, my cat, and I tried to take a bath with my toaster, but my dog took it. That's why I hate my dog. And my cat died trying to chew my rope; it choked... Yea.
Dentist: I... meant your mouth... so I can clean your teeth.
Me: :O Ohhhh, my bad.
Dentist: Do you need help??
Me: Yep.
Dentist: ...
Me: ....
