Hate jokes
I hate these double standards.
If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".
What game does an emo hate the most?
Cut the Rope.
It's ironic that the more other people love you, the more you hate yourself.
What song do orphans hate the most? "We are family."
Why do Republican men hate transgender people?
Because they lost a dick-measuring contest to a ladyboy in Thailand!
A black boy walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!” The boy finds his father and says, “Look Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the boy back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” The boy replies, “I’ve only been a white boy for five minutes and I already hate you black people!”
Like this post to give someone you hate bad luck.
I was having issues in my personal and professional life. I hated everyone. I was on the brink of a mental breakdown and depression. I decided to see a therapist about it. The therapist suggested that I should write letters to the people I hate and then burn them. I must admit I feel much better...
But now I don't know what to do with the letters.
Stop hating on pedos. At least they drive slow in school zones.
Why does Helen Keller hate the national anthem? Oh, say, can you see?
I like when people say they hate me because we have something in common. <3
Why did Hitler never go to a strip club?
He hated the Poles.
I hate people who get offended here, like seriously, it's called dark humor for a reason.
What do gay people and mice have in common?
They both hate pussy cats!
I hate my wife.
What do fat demons hate? Exorcise.
What planet did Hitler hate the most?
Jewpiter.
What kind of chocolate does a lesbian hate?
Ones that contain nuts.
So little Johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.
"If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!"
"If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!"
And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:
"Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?"
Little Johnny smiled and said: "A bus driver!"
Dentist: Open up, sir.
Me: So... I hate my life, my family, my sisters, my dog, my cat, and I tried to take a bath with my toaster, but my dog took it. That's why I hate my dog. And my cat died trying to chew my rope; it choked... Yea.
Dentist: I... meant your mouth... so I can clean your teeth.
Me: :O Ohhhh, my bad.
Dentist: Do you need help??
Me: Yep.
Dentist: ...
Me: ....