Harding jokes
What type of tea is hard to swallow?
Reality.
Life is never hard until you get hit hard with reality.
Nostalgia hits you like a train.
It's so hard, you can even wake up.
I laughed at my life so hard.
Did you know penguins can fly if you throw them hard enough? Just like children!
Why was the computer late to work?
Because it had a hard drive!
What does Stephen Hawking press after he's had a hard day?
F5
I was at school today, and one of my friends said after a test, "Man, that was hard." After that, I started laughing and I said, "That's what she said."
I broke my ankles so hard I had to walk uphill both ways.
Peanuts are hard to crack, just like my ex-wife's heart.
What animal howls at the moon and eats cement?
If you guessed wolf, you're right! I threw in the cement to make it hard.
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.
The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
Which one's super super corny?
1. What's blue and not heavy? (🤔) Light blue.
2. What's blue and super hard to see?
Dark blue. (🤔)
What motorway lane does Stephen Hawking use?
Hard shoulder.
I told my sister that when you go to bed with an itchy butt, you're going to have smelly fingers in the morning, and I've never heard her laugh so hard in my life.
What’s long and hard and full of semen?
A submarine.
I made this up.
I was watching a school baseball game, and I was yelling at a kid to take it home. He took the bat and threw it, and then ran away. I asked the teacher/coach what the problem was, and he said the kid was an orphan, and I started laughing so hard.
Later that night, I wondered where he stormed off to after he threw the bat, and I thought to myself, "Not home."
Rachel won the lottery twice in two years. Her friend Jim called her every day asking for tips on winning, just the same. Then one day, simply to get rid of him, Rachel said, "Watch two martial arts movies, eat three pieces of hard beef jerky, and pick a fight at a bar."
Jim replied with a shocked look, "That's what I do after Mr. Tugman shakes my hand too long."
Do you think you can solve a riddle about my penis because I don't think you can...
It's too hard.
How long does it take for 10 dead babies to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.