Harding jokes
I was at school today, and one of my friends said after a test, "Man, that was hard." After that, I started laughing and I said, "That's what she said."
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.
The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
What animal howls at the moon and eats cement?
If you guessed wolf, you're right! I threw in the cement to make it hard.
I broke my ankles so hard I had to walk uphill both ways.
"I miss you.
Being happy was never that hard without you..."
Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...
Memes
Did you know penguins can fly if you throw them hard enough? Just like children!
Life is never hard until you get hit hard with reality.
Nostalgia hits you like a train.
It's so hard, you can even wake up.
I laughed at my life so hard.
What type of tea is hard to swallow?
Reality.
Which one's super super corny?
1. What's blue and not heavy? (🤔) Light blue.
2. What's blue and super hard to see?
Dark blue. (🤔)
Peanuts are hard to crack, just like my ex-wife's heart.
What motorway lane does Stephen Hawking use?
Hard shoulder.
I told my sister that when you go to bed with an itchy butt, you're going to have smelly fingers in the morning, and I've never heard her laugh so hard in my life.
Why was the computer late to work?
Because it had a hard drive!
What do math and me on P-hub have in common?
They are both hard.
No matter how hard I try, I will never be a stand-up comedian.
What does Stephen Hawking press after he's had a hard day?
F5
What’s long and hard and full of semen?
A submarine.
I made this up.
I was watching a school baseball game, and I was yelling at a kid to take it home. He took the bat and threw it, and then ran away. I asked the teacher/coach what the problem was, and he said the kid was an orphan, and I started laughing so hard.
Later that night, I wondered where he stormed off to after he threw the bat, and I thought to myself, "Not home."