Harding jokes

What's hard and hairy on the outside and soft and wet on the inside? Coconut, what were you thinking of?

They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?

Why [doesn't] Hollywood make a good movie about holocausts?

Because it's so hard to skin Jewish characters.

Have you ever wondered why you never see a gay guy in a wheelchair?

It’s hard to become a vegetable when you’re already a fruit.

My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.

What did the rapper say when their computer crashed?

"Looks like I just dropped a HARD DRIVE!"

A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.

The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”

What animal howls at the moon and eats cement?

If you guessed wolf, you're right! I threw in the cement to make it hard.

Nostalgia hits you like a train.

It's so hard, you can even wake up.

I laughed at my life so hard.

I broke my ankles so hard I had to walk uphill both ways.

"I miss you.

Being happy was never that hard without you..."

Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...

Yo momma so fat that it was hard to find the G spot and slip her one at night.

What type of tea is hard to swallow?

Reality.

Why does Johnny Sins cover his pants, but it doesn't work?

Because the long, hard thing can't chirp down.

Tell it to your parents and friends!

Life is never hard until you get hit hard with reality.

What motorway lane does Stephen Hawking use?

Hard shoulder.

I told my sister that when you go to bed with an itchy butt, you're going to have smelly fingers in the morning, and I've never heard her laugh so hard in my life.

Why was the computer late to work?

Because it had a hard drive!

What does Stephen Hawking press after he's had a hard day?

F5