got the george floyd pack this shit makin it hard to breathe
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Friend: I broke up with Sara.
Me: I know, she came over and I screwed her hard.
Friend: How did her p*ssy feel?
Me: After about 2 inches, it felt brand new.
Friend: What do you— HOLD UP. WHAT TF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!?!
How many babys does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.
Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles, His teacher asked "Three birds where sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said "No, but I like the way you think!" Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said "Little Johnny!" He replied "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"
Why is it so hard to choose between buying a Subaru or a Volvo? Because you’re deciding whether you want to look like a rapist or a pedophile
what is six inches, and has nuts, and is hard.
a sinkers bar
For boys Life is a lot like a penis simple, soft, straight, relaxed and hanging freely......... then a woman makes it really hard😩😉😏
I brought my cousin to an arcade and I gave her 5$ to go play a game but she tugged my joy stick to hard
I nailed my Jewish girlfriend so hard she turned Christian.
What's the difference between light and hard?
It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.
When you accidentally wipe a little too hard and your finger goes up your bumhole, triggering flashbacks of when you were 10 and your uncle stayed a few weeks 😂
There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said "i farted and the building behind me blew up".
What does Drake and math have in common? They’re both hard for kids.
I used to suffer from depression but through hard work, persistence, and never giving up..
I now suffer from anxiety aND depression :\
An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away.
if you throw it hard enough.
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Digging stuff up is too hard
Guess Necrophilia isn’t for everybody
My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me. The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment. With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.
