Harding jokes
It’s really hard to maintain a good body lately, unless you put it in a freezer.
Why is it so hard to choose between buying a Subaru or a Volvo? Because you’re deciding whether you want to look like a rapist or a pedophile.
My uncle and I have somewhat of an awkward relationship. At times I find him a bit hard to swallow.
School is like a boner. It's long and hard unless you're Asian.
For boys, life is a lot like a penis: simple, soft, straight, relaxed, and hanging freely......... then a woman makes it really hard.😩😉😏
Friend: I broke up with Sara.
Me: I know, she came over and I screwed her hard.
Friend: How did her pussy feel?
Me: After about 2 inches, it felt brand new.
Friend: What do you— HOLD UP. WHAT TF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?!
Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
Whenever I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, and it can be quite annoying, making it hard for the patients to sleep, so I unplug them.
What is six inches, has nuts, and is hard?
A sinkers bar.
I brought my cousin to an arcade and I gave her $5 to go play a game, but she tugged my joystick too hard.
I nailed my Jewish girlfriend so hard, she turned Christian.
When you accidentally wipe a little too hard and your finger goes up your bumhole, triggering flashbacks of when you were 10 and your uncle stayed a few weeks. 😂
What's the difference between light and hard?
It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.
Digging stuff up is too hard.
I guess necrophilia isn’t for everybody.
There were three people on the third floor of a building. The first one took a bite of an apple, then said it was too hard, so he threw it out the window. The second person took a bite of a lemon. He said it was too sour, so he threw it out the window. The third guy was drunk. He took a bite of a grenade and thought it was too crunchy, so he threw it out the window.
Then one of them went downstairs. He saw a dog laying on the ground dead. The apple had hit the dog in the head. Then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap. It had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head. Next, there was an old guy laughing. I asked him why he was laughing. He said, "I farted and the building behind me blew up."
I used to suffer from depression but through hard work, persistence, and never giving up..\n\nI now suffer from anxiety AND depression :\
What do Drake and math have in common? They’re both hard for kids.
An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away.
if you throw it hard enough.
My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me.
The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment.
With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.