It was so cold out today believe it or not, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite poker hand? Jacks and 5.
When you have a hand clock it goes tic-tac. When an American has it go backwards it tactic.
What did the blind kid say after touching the emo kid’s hand? “I ain’t reading all that.”
You're the type of person to wash your hands after a shower
How do you help a starving cannibal You give him a hand
. How is sex like a game of bridge? If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.
Whats the difference between an orphan and a second hand book?
The second hand book was loved once..
Chuck Norris can toss Jupiter at the Sun with his bare hands.
And he still cannot win a fighting match against Bruce Lee.
Say crack my finger backwards
My friend showed me his broken finger and i said JESUS, he said his name is Jake
Why are orphans so bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house looks like
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
i watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. only got caught once.
What’s strong enough for a man, but made for a woman
The back of my hand
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What’s the similarity between your uncle and your hands? They can both do dirty things
