Hairiness jokes

Yo mama's armpits are so hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.

Yo mama so hairy, you almost died from a rug burn!

Yo mama so hairy that she got a haircut and lost 47 pounds.

I have a pussy. It's very hairy. It has a long thing sticking out of it. It's also very hair. My hairy pussy meows and purrs.

Yo mama so hairy that bigfoot dated her.

A woman buys a house, but she doesn't know what to name the house, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Hairy butt," so she named the house Hairy Butt.

The next month she had a baby, but she didn't know what to name him, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Crack," so she named the baby Crack.

After a year or two she lost him, so she called the police and said, "Help! I looked all over my hairy butt, but I couldn't find my little crack."

How do you turn a hairy man into a feminist?

Just take out his brain and there you go!

I don't blame Amber Heard for wanting Elon Musk, especially if Johnny Depp is hairy and smells like a port-o-potty full of cigarettes and gunsmoke.

Yo dad is so hairy, people chased him because they thought he was Bigfoot.

Why did Mrs. Henderson get a divorce from her husband, Harry?

She was tired of everyone calling the family "Hairy" and the Hendersons.

There was once a kid named Timmy. His father and mother went to bed one night and didn't hear or see Timmy come with them.

They all get under the covers. Timmy, still unnoticed, looks under the covers and lets out a blood-curdling scream. "MOMMY, WATCH OUT! THERE IS A SNAKE GOING INTO YOUR BIG BLACK HAIRY BUSH!" And he proceeds to say, "DON'T WORRY MOMMY, I'LL GET IT!" And he takes his father's penis in his mouth and chomps down.

Now I want you to think what their breakfast conversation was the next morning.

What do you call a teen wizard who just went through puberty?

Hairy Potter.

Your momma is so hairy that when you were born, you got rug burn.

What's hard and hairy on the outside and soft and wet on the inside? Coconut, what were you thinking of?

Your mom is so hairy that King Kong got jealous of her.

Say "Mike Wizowski" fast to a teenager and I will get you $100000000000.

There was a man in a tower, and the other man thought it was a girl, so he said, "Let down your long hair." He said, "OK, I will let my big, super long, hairy penis down for you to climb and suck." Then the other man said, "If you have such a long dick, suck it yourself. See ya, b*tch."

What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?

A mustach-io!

My pits are hairy, but my I can carry.

You are so hairy, you starred in Donkey Kong before!