Hair

Hair Jokes

President

Biden: Shut up, Trump, disrespectful!

President: You are the one with the inappropriate hair touching, bro. ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž

Biden: -laughs hard because sloppy Joe can't do anything.

Wordplay

God: Why is the teenager so short?

Angel: I don't know.

God: I said, "Strong as a bear!"

Angel: No, you said, "Ass hair."

God: No, I didn't!

Carrot

If Trump colored his hair green and wore an orange shirt and pants, I will call him a carrot.

Blonde

A blonde walks into the doctor's office. She tells the doctor, "My boyfriend has dandruff."

The doctor tells her to use Head and Shoulders. She leaves. About an hour later, the doctor's phone rings. He answers, it's the blonde. The doctor asks how he can help her. "Well doctor, I understand head, but how do you 'hove' shoulders?"

Eagle

How are a bald eagle and a bald man similar?

Because they both have eyes.

Strand

When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.

So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.

Cow

Teacher: Describe a penguin.

Student: Black, white, beak.

Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan.

Student: Sad, maybe depressed, no family.

Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow.

Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes.

Teacher: No! How does that describe a cow?

Student: It describes you tho.

Priest

What's the difference between a mole and a priest?

One will till your 13 to put hairs on your face.

Cancer

You know what's the worst about having a daughter with cancer?

You can't pull her hair when you hit it from the back.

  • 1
  • Plane

    What did Trump rename the Presidential plane?

    Answer: Hair Force One!

    Dwarf

    When is it acceptable to hit a dwarf?

    When he dances with your wife and says her hair smells nice...

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  • Girl

    A little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her mom naked taking a shower and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get breasts?" Mom says, "Oh, when you're 12 or 13." The little girl looks down and seeโ€™s her pubes and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get hair down there?" Mom says, "Oh, about the same time you get breasts."

    Then the little girl walks in and sees her dad sitting on the bed with a hard on and asks, "Daddy, daddy, when am I gonna get one of those?" Dad says, "Soon as your mom leaves for work."

  • 1
  • Hairline

    This boy said, "Get your hairline straight." I said, "Girls don't have a hairline. How about you go to the barber shop and let your barber do your hair 10 times worse than he did the first time."

    Blonde

    A redhead, a dark-haired woman, and a blonde walk into a bar and agree to fly to the sun!

    The blonde states, "I agree, let's leave at night!"