Attention everyone: I will be leaving this website. Thank you everybody who has been nice to me. Maybe I’ll come back in the future but for now: Goodbye.
Did you know what my grandpa wanted for christmas? A new ass because his one has crack on it.
Why can’t you private text someone in a community? _____________________________________________
Because a community has more than two people.
what has 4legs, than 3 legs, than 2 legs, than 1 leg, than no legs
a baby you cut one off each time
What's the difference between a orphan and a Chinese kid? The Chinese kid has a home.
What’s the difference between apples and orphans?
One of them has a family tree
What's green and has a thousand nipples?
A garbage bag in the alley behind a breast cancer clinic
Where has God existed outside of a man's awareness of him?
What kind of bear that has no teeth?
A gummy bear.
Rapboat sez he has a rap career. Wrap career more like, wrapping burgers at mcdonalds
"Our teen has decreed we are the 'Worst Parents Ever.' We will hold our coronation ceremony to accept this honor next Friday. Invitations to follow."
Has anyone else ever been jealous when their laptop dies?
What is the difference between the human and a tree and a house that has to walk home and walk walk home from school 🏫 was your name in your house 🏡 I did not have any good time for dinner today but I did have a good night sleep and
What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson’s dreams every night?
Hanson.
Why can’t orphans have phones Because it has a home button
Why don’t orphans play baseball Because they can’t get a home run
Popcorn means Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany. HO means a woman, in particular one who has many casual sexual encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based sex encountered a lot in a nazi camp.
Kat what I did a cat jump over the road because he believes he came flying in the clouds Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah so funniest kitten kitten kitten kidding is my last time ofDo you Joooooooooooooooooooooookin
The Police officer in London , Who used fake Covid rules to arrest a young woman , drive her more than 50 miles out of London in a hire car , murder her and do whatever to her , has appealed against his Whole Life tarriff.
He should be relieved it was only that ! , could of been worse ... could of married her !
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out.
The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him.
The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!”
The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window and jumps out.
The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar.
The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT!
The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.” I know.
I asked my now ex boyfriend why he’s scared of my cat. He said it was because of the scratches on my arm.
I told him that my cat doesn’t scratch, but he didn’t believe me. He realised what I meant when he noticed I kept hiding my wrist from everyone else.
(Kinda based on the fact that my ex is indeed scared of cats, and he has been scared of my cat so yeah 😂)
