HA

HA jokes

Woman

What is the difference between a pencil and a woman?

At least one has a point.

Food

What is the difference between me and food?

Food has a use.

Spectrum

If someone has a hyperfixation with drawing and playing, does that mean they are on the "artism" spectrum?

Insult

The way you are so ugly your parents even regret the day you were born.

The way you are so black when your mom is bathing you in the dark, she has to put flour in the water to see you.

🤣🤣🤣

Wife

Mate, my wife Susan has kicked me out again, anyone got a lift?

COVID-19

The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.

They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.

Chess

Why can’t USA and England play chess?

The USA has no towers, and England doesn’t have a queen.

Marriage

You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?

Skeleton

What does a skeleton say when he has lots of work?

"I have a ton of work, skele-ton."

Thor

How do you know Thor has your back?

He's an Asgardian (ass guardian).

Food

Jason Kenney has never worried about putting food on the table for his kids.

"Knuckle babies" don't eat.