HA jokes
Two nuns walk into a liquor store, and one asked the clerk for the biggest bottle of Irish whisky he had.
The clerk replied, "Heck no sister, you nuns aren't supposed to drink that stuff!" The nun said, "Well my son, it is not for us, you see, it is for Mother Teresa," then the nun whispers, "She has the constipation."
The clerk said, "Oh, in that case, it's on the house. Here's the biggest jug we have." The nuns thank him, bless him, and leave. A few hours later, as the clerk is leaving, he sees the same two sisters in the parking lot, rolling around and drinking the Irish whiskey. Appalled, he goes over to them and says, "You ladies lied to me! You told me it was for Mother Teresa for her constipation!"
One of the nuns takes another swig, looks up at him and says "You wanna know something buddy? She sure will shit when she sees us!"
Superman was bored and wanted to go out. He called all his super friends, but they were all busy. He even calls Louis, but it's her time of the month.
He flies to the liquor store and buys some beer and gets drunk. As he is flying, he sees Wonder Woman naked on top of the roof. He starts thinking, "I will fly down and have sex with her sooooo fast," BURP, "that she won't know what happened," HICKUP.
He flies to her faster than the speed of light, BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG, and flies away with a smile. He passes out and crashed into a wall.
Wonder Woman jumps up and screams, "WHAT WAS THAT?"
The Invisible Man appears, holding his butt, and he gets off on Wonder Woman and says, "I don't know, but my butt hurts real bad."
Donald Trump has too much sand in his vagina.
There was a woman. She is property. Ha, sucks for that dishwasher.
Q: What's an animation similar to Finding Nemo, but the fish has cancer? A: Finding Kemo.
Memes
Uranus has 27 moons.
A penis has a bad life. His neighbor is an asshole, his friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.
What is one thing that a physicality handicapped gay man can do better than a heterosexual female or a bisexual female that are not born physicality handicapped? Know how to perform fellatio on a man that has a very long and thick and very large dick.
What has two wings and an arrow?
A Chinese telephone: "Wing wing arrow."
Q: Whatโs the difference between an orphan and a baseball field?
A: A baseball field has a home base.
My girlfriend is incredibly sad since her cat has disappeared.
I am quite sure now that I misunderstood something when she asked me to eat her pussy--and I am beginning to think that I did not get the "fuck her doggy" part either.
Kiwi's forehead is so big when he leaves to go to work he has to use a sunroof to drive. ๐
What's an orphan's favorite website?
It has a homepage.
What do you call a fat man that has a stomach shaped like an egg?
Humpty Dumpty!
What's the difference between an orphan's life and a knife?
A knife has a point.
What do you call your sister who only has one leg?
Ei-lean.
What do you call your sister if she only has one leg?
Ei-lean.
Have you ever walked through Stephen Hawking's house? No?
Well..... neither has he.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a book?
The book has papers.
What has 8 legs and 2 ears? A dog.