HA jokes
What has two wings and an arrow?
A Chinese telephone: "Wing wing arrow."
Q: What’s the difference between an orphan and a baseball field?
A: A baseball field has a home base.
My girlfriend is incredibly sad since her cat has disappeared.
I am quite sure now that I misunderstood something when she asked me to eat her pussy--and I am beginning to think that I did not get the "fuck her doggy" part either.
Kiwi's forehead is so big when he leaves to go to work he has to use a sunroof to drive. 😏
What's an orphan's favorite website?
It has a homepage.
What do you call a fat man that has a stomach shaped like an egg?
Humpty Dumpty!
What's the difference between an orphan's life and a knife?
A knife has a point.
What do you call your sister who only has one leg?
Ei-lean.
What do you call your sister if she only has one leg?
Ei-lean.
Have you ever walked through Stephen Hawking's house? No?
Well..... neither has he.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a book?
The book has papers.
What has 8 legs and 2 ears? A dog.
My friend has a dog who looks like cocoa. Her name is Cocoa!
What has two arms and two legs but can’t walk or run?
Stephen Hawking.
There was a blind man. He was blind. Ha, sucks for him.
My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.
She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!
How do you know a gay guy has been in your house?
There are speedos in the microwave.
Why was Boiling Water hired by NASA (The National Aeronautics and Space Administration) to oversee their Space division?
Because it has at least one hundred degrees.
There was a woman. She is property. Ha, sucks for that dishwasher.
Why can’t Sally get a hair cut? She has cancer.