HA jokes

My friend's man has seizures, so guess who won their breakdancing tournament.

ATTENTION EVERYBODY: I am the owner of this website, and I will be deleting it in 5 hours. Thank you everybody who has participated in this website's life. Goodbye!

I went to the store because I had to go to school to run up downstairs because my phone started calling me because I was playing Mario Kart on my kitchen sink's baby grandma, like if you cry every time.

It’s Christmas and Sally has a gift. She got a Barrie. Just kidding, she still hasn’t opened it.

What's red and has 7 dents? Snow White's cherry.

Why does Aaron chug beer on a Wednesday?

Because his dad beats him every single day because he has scoliosis.

Kiwi's forehead is so big when he leaves to go to work he has to use a sunroof to drive. 😏

This midget in my school has two moms. I said, "Did your dad go get the milk?" He told me to shut up. I said, "I don’t shut up, I grow up like you should."

The poacher agrees but says that his assistant is ill and will need the man to come with him in his assistant's place. The man agrees, and so the poacher goes out to the jungle with the man.

The poacher brings a pair of handcuffs, a long stick, a shotgun, and a dog. They search through the jungle for about an hour and then spot a male gorilla above in the treetops.

The man asks the poacher what the plan is. The poacher replies, "I'm going to climb the tree and, when I get close enough, I'm going to start poking the gorilla with the stick until it falls out of the tree.

The dog is a specially trained dog. When the gorilla falls out of the tree, the dog will try to bite off the gorilla's balls. When the gorilla moves its hands to protect its balls, you put the handcuffs on it."

This all seems to make sense to the man, but he has one question. "What is the shotgun for?" he asks the poacher. The poacher responds: "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the dog."

Why does an orphan never learn how to drive? Because he has no dad to help him.

So here’s this funny story, and it’s true.

So my mom has this friend. When this guy was a kid, he was on the school bus, and this Mexican kid checked him into the aisle, so he hits him across the face with a metal lunchbox, and he started bleeding. Then they both get banned from the bus for a few days, so him and his dad drive to the Mexican kids house, and his dad says to the Mexican kids dad “if your kid ever picks on my kid again, I’m gonna come back to this house and kick your ass!”

Everyone always has a special person in their life someday, but I think yours got ran over by a bus.

My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.

So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.

If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.

Johnny is on his way to school when he comes across a frog. With a sudden inspirational thought, he picks the frog up, shoves a firecracker up the frog's arse, lights the cracker, and blows the frog to smithereens.

Now at school, the teacher asks the class: "Has anybody got anything for show and tell this morning?"

Johnny waves his arm in the air and is virtually screaming "Me mis me mis me mis".

"Ok Johnny, what do you have to share with the class today?"

Little Johnny then says, "Well on my way to school today I shoved a cracker up a frog's arse." The teacher interrupts and says, "It's not arse Johnny, It's rectum."

Johnny then says, "Fucking oath it wrecked 'im."

"I need to go to the doctor!"

"Why?"

"It has a crack in it."

Mert has no dad.

Raihan fucks Ahmed who fucks Zupporah.

Your dad has a huge PP.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple...

An apple has a family tree.

What's the difference between a pair of jeans and an African baby?

A pair of jeans only has 1 fly.