Guys jokes

Facebook

A guy entered a library and wanted to get some books to read. He was searching across the books, and the librarian asked him,

Librarian: What are you looking for?

Man: I am looking for a book!

Librarian: Which book?

Man: Facebook.

Racism

Guys, I know how to stop racism. Delete the word "racism." People can't be something that doesn't exist.

Guy

I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"

Wife

A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE FUCK FUCKED MY WIFE!”

A man in the back responds, “YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”

Golf

Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.

Memes

Guy

Did you hear about the deaf guy's STI?

He got hearing aids.

Stool

How do 4 gay guys fit on one stool at the same time?

They flip it over.

Fight

How do you break up two blind guys fighting?

Yell, "My money's on the guy with the knife!"

Hairline

Your hairline retreats from your face just like all the guys that look at you.

Hand

Person with no arms: Even though I have no arms, I can do anything you guys can.

Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏 If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏

Person with no arms: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Guy

What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?

Answer: a Carnivwhore.

Steamroller

One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.

I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.

Bar

Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.

Be smart, not stupid.

Butcher

"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.

"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"

"I'm a butcher," he replies.

Van

Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.

Bubble

Why couldn’t the guy make bubbles?

He couldn’t find the right solution.

Tent

This guy goes to the doctor and says, “I think I’m a wigwam, no, I think I’m a teepee, no, I must be a wigwam, no, a teepee.”

The doctor tells him, “I think I understand your problem. You’re two tents.”