Guys jokes

How do you surprise a blind guy?

Say, "Surprise!"

What makes jokes because it's lonely and a complete and utter loser?

This guy, yep, this guy right here.

Q: How can you tell if a Western is gay?

A: All the good guys are hung.

Guys, I'm back...

Here's my joke:

What is blue and red all over?

Blood in the water of a shark attack victim.

Why do orphans not like Family Guy? Because they have family.

Some guy asked me, "Are you better than my meat?" I said, "No, I'm not better, I just beat it all the time."

A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"

A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"

Some guy interviewed me and asked how it felt to kill thousands of people. I replied, “I don’t know. I’ve only killed communists.”

A man is depressed and he sighs. A bully says, "Stop sighing, you sound like some guys having a threesome!"

If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?

What's the difference between a guy and a woman? They fall from different heights.

Hi guys, I'm back! So I have a question for you. What is red and smells like blue paint? Type in comments what you came up with.

Guys, put more comments in.

We are so close to beating the world record for most comments on this website, and the record is 171.

If there's a guy without legs, he begins to hear boss music when a stack of shelves appear.

C'mon guys, I know I'm not the only bored one around here!

A guy entered a library and wanted to get some books to read. He was searching across the books, and the librarian asked him,

Librarian: What are you looking for?

Man: I am looking for a book!

Librarian: Which book?

Man: Facebook.

What's the difference between a pizza and a guy you really hate?

One won't scream when you remove their meat.

A guy walks into a bar, then a table, and then a chair.

Guys, there is no need to worry about anti-vaxxers. The more there are, the less there are.

Why couldn’t the guy make bubbles?

He couldn’t find the right solution.