Guys jokes
Stop making 9/11 jokes, guys! My uncle died in that event. He was the best Arabian pilot in the world!
What did the fat guy say to the tree?
"Get me some coconuts!"
What's an orphan's least favorite show? Family Guy ;)
It’s not like they can watch it anyway: it’s PG.
Guys, what do you call an un-aborted and parentless child?...
An orphan.
Q: How can you tell if a Western is gay?
A: All the good guys are hung.
What makes jokes because it's lonely and a complete and utter loser?
This guy, yep, this guy right here.
Guys, I'm back...
Here's my joke:
What is blue and red all over?
Blood in the water of a shark attack victim.
Some guy asked me, "Are you better than my meat?" I said, "No, I'm not better, I just beat it all the time."
A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"
A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"
Some guy interviewed me and asked how it felt to kill thousands of people. I replied, “I don’t know. I’ve only killed communists.”
A man is depressed and he sighs. A bully says, "Stop sighing, you sound like some guys having a threesome!"
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
How do you surprise a blind guy?
Say, "Surprise!"
A guy does not know anything. Oh, wait, he has dementia.
How can a guy do stand up comedy in a wheelchair?
What did one nut say to the other nut? "The guy in the middle's a dick!"
Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."
Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?
He's all right now.
If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?
According to a recent poll, your mother said, "I like the guy who saw the guy who doesn't have a brain!"