Gun jokes
You want to know the bad thing? Only 5 out of 6 people like Russian roulette.
What has more brains than a student in a school shooting? The wall behind them.
What's the difference between a gun and chips? When you bring it to class, everyone starts wanting to be your friend.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at a hospital?
Reload and keep shooting.
Once, there was a man that was coming to my house and peeing in my yard. Then the man came back to my house and flopped his penis everywhere and peed at the same time, and it went all over my face.
So the next day, he came back, and I got my BB gun and shot a metal BB into his peepee.
This didn't actually happen.
What’s an abbreviation for school in America?
Shooting range.
Jokes just as dead as the victims.
Teacher: "I'm sorry, but you got a 74 on the test."
Quiet Kid: "I'll show you my own 74."
Classroom: *visible panic*
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
What does a Chinese machine gun sound like? "ching chong ching chong tang tang."
What do a bag of chips and a gun have in common?
When you pull either one out in class, everyone all of a sudden wants to be your friend...
How many guns can an octopus hold?
9
"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."
"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."
"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."
There were three men in a car: the driver, a homeless man, and a rapper. The driver takes them to the woods and says, "I'm not really a cab driver, I'm a wanted killer." The homeless man says, "I'm not really homeless," and pulls out a chain. The rapper says, "If we're gonna be completely honest, I'm not a rapper, I'm a cop!"
39, 41, 43, AK, 47... AK-47.
1, 3, 5, M, 9... M-9.
*School shooting happens*
Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk*
American student: "First time?"
When you get caught about to shoot up the school,
*slowly puts AR to chin*
When you're sitting in class and the quiet kid yells, "Lovely day, isn't it?" ... and you see a Glock shape in his pocket.
Murder, murder, suicide by police.
Three citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI. Their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot her. He walked out in shame and said he couldn't do it. The second guy had the same scenario. He put the gun up, but couldn't pull the trigger, so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario. He walked out and told the instructor, "The gun wasn't loaded, I had to strangle the bitch."
My doctor said, "You have 1 year to live."
I said, "You wanna bet?"
Bam, a gunshot!