Gun

Gun jokes

Add joke

Once, there was a man that was coming to my house and peeing in my yard. Then the man came back to my house and flopped his penis everywhere and peed at the same time, and it went all over my face.

So the next day, he came back, and I got my BB gun and shot a metal BB into his peepee.

This didn't actually happen.

What’s an abbreviation for school in America?

Shooting range.

Jokes just as dead as the victims.

  • 6

    • Teacher: "I'm sorry, but you got a 74 on the test."

    Quiet Kid: "I'll show you my own 74."

    Classroom: *visible panic*

    When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...

    What do a bag of chips and a gun have in common?

    When you pull either one out in class, everyone all of a sudden wants to be your friend...

    "Sanderson, fire a warning shot."

    "Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."

    "Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."

    There were three men in a car: the driver, a homeless man, and a rapper. The driver takes them to the woods and says, "I'm not really a cab driver, I'm a wanted killer." The homeless man says, "I'm not really homeless," and pulls out a chain. The rapper says, "If we're gonna be completely honest, I'm not a rapper, I'm a cop!"

    *School shooting happens*

    Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk*

    American student: "First time?"

    When you're sitting in class and the quiet kid yells, "Lovely day, isn't it?" ... and you see a Glock shape in his pocket.

    Three citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI. Their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot her. He walked out in shame and said he couldn't do it. The second guy had the same scenario. He put the gun up, but couldn't pull the trigger, so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario. He walked out and told the instructor, "The gun wasn't loaded, I had to strangle the bitch."

    My doctor said, "You have 1 year to live."

    I said, "You wanna bet?"

    Bam, a gunshot!

  • 0

    • "I heard a noise in the basement! I'm gonna go to my friend's house and play Minecraft with him until the noise I heard goes away."

    "I heard a noise in the basement. I'm gonna go down there with a bazooka and thirty thousand rounds of pistol ammo and fifty thousand pistols."

    Said no horror movie character ever.

    And also GTA logic.

    What's the difference between a penis and a gun?

    A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.

  • 2