Why is the white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison?
Because the white guy actually did it.
GUI Jokes
What does a Chinese guy say to his lover? “You’re the ying to my yang!”
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?
Rolls Royce.
Have you ever wondered why you never see a gay guy in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to become a vegetable when you’re already a fruit.
I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day. He replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."
Did you see the blind guy trip on a can?
He didn't either.
Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer was the first person to try Five Guys?
"Karma is the guy on the Chiefs, Coming straight home to me."
How do 4 gay guys fit on one stool at the same time?
They flip it over.
My brother tried to hit this guy with a plane and but hit the Twin Towers.
Two guys in a car get pulled over by a cop. The cop taps the window, and the window rolls down. "Good evening, gentlemen, we're looking for two pedophiles."
The guy quickly closes the window. Ten seconds later, he lowers it again and says, "Ok, we'll do it."
A guy who just got robbed says, "I've been hacked, and the hacker ransomware!"
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE FUCK FUCKED MY WIFE!”
A man in the back responds, “YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”
What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?
The pizza guy shows up when you call him.
My mom has a toy that I see all the girls and guys seem to play with, and the toy is between my mom's legs.
"Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body amputated? He’s all right now."
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
What does a French guy say when he falls off?
Oh no, Eiffel!
I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"
"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he says.
