Guess jokes

Did you hear about the bull who went on a shooting rampage?

I guess he was a little deranged.

Hey kids, guess who started a micronation?

It’s Barney and Trump. They don’t let gays in, but they kill them.

In life you either yeet or get yeeted, or you beat or get beaten.

I guess I failed.

Period: Guess who’s back... back again...

Me: Ugh, can we not do this today?

Period: I can come back in 9 months?

Me: Keep fucking singing.

My friend's man has seizures, so guess who won their breakdancing tournament.

Guess what that is and it’s explosive. The end looks like <>

What do you call a tire that is tired?

A tire, I guess. ❤️

Mike Oxlong: What's deez, Mike?

Mike Oxsmall: I dunno. What is deez?

Mike Oxlong: DEEZ NUTS! HA, GOT 'EM!

Well I guess exoplanets never had some exoloration. 🤣🤣🤣

I went home one day, and three guys—a Spanish guy, a Chinese guy, and a white guy—told me, "You should be proud of your sister. She won a trophy about knowing her flavor of meats." Then my sister told me that I was blindfolded, and she gave all of them a blowjob, and I had to guess which flavor that I was sucking on. I was right all the time, and they gave me a trophy. The Trophy says "Blowjobs of the Flavors." As a brother, I couldn't be prouder.

I'm deaf. My deaf ex-wife cheated on me with a guy who I met on a deaf social trip who was also deaf. I guess I didn't see the signs at the time.

Ok, here's a story about the church.

There were two parents, then they had a baby. Then they go to the church and the baby was getting a cross on his forehead. Guess he was big headed. Sorry if this offends anyone or makes this joke bad since I keep writing this.

Guess McAfee doesn’t clear all computer viruses.

Guess what? If your mom ever wants to have sex with you, tell her to make another.

My wife and I went to the bar to get a drink, but 2 mins later, I see her dead on the ground. I guess she couldn't see the bottle flying at her face. Then I laughed and went home.

A: Guess what kind of men/women do gold diggers like?

Q: One that has a sense of money.

I told my wife she was lousy in bed.

She replied, "I guess you have been seeing your ex-girlfriend, uh?"

When you are losing at Tetris, I guess the odds are STACKED against you.

Mom: Clean your room! Me: No, it’s my room, and I don’t want to clean it. Mom: You are nothing like Mrs. Smith’s daughter. Me: Well, I’m not Mrs. Smith’s daughter now, am I? You are the worst. Why are you trying to compare me with Mrs. Smith’s daughter? I’m not her, OK? I am not her, so stop! Mom: Do you know what? I pushed you out of my hula for 43 minutes! Do not make me hate you, because guess what? I brought you into the world, and I can take you out of it! Me: Bro.

The date is April 1st.

Somebody asks you what you are doing.

“I guess you could say I’m... fooling around ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)“