Greatest jokes

I don’t like making jokes about 9/11. My grandad died in it, he was the greatest pilot I ever knew.

What is Obi-Wan Kenobi's greatest enemy?

The low ground.

My uncle died on September 11. He was the greatest pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.

Old soviet joke.

"Who is your mother?" "Our great Soviet country." "Who is your father?" "Our dear comrade Stalin." "What's your greatest desire?" "Becoming an orphan."

What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly, officer, I never heard her say no.

What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?

Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.

Roses are red, pussies are wet, when it goes in he gets upset. She said it's too small, so that's all. But later that day, he wanted to say, "Every time I play, no one complains, so she was just lying." She started flying, went out of her seat, the skirt went up, the greatest of them all. Everyone said, "Fly away big chunky balls."

What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? Both of their greatest hits are "the wall."

The greatest doctor, smartest man, young geek, and inspiring preacher are on a plane. The pilot dies of a heart attack and is confirmed by the doctor. But, there are only 3 parachutes on the plane. The doctor takes one and says,

"People need me for my excellent medicine!" and jumps out. The smart man grabs one and shouts,

"People are in need of my great knowledge!" and jumps out. There is only one more parachute on the plane. The preacher says to the geek,

"You are too young. Take the final parachute and go." The geek instead says,

"No, there are two parachutes left, the 'smart' one took my backpack."

Your mother is such a slut, she should be in the NFL hall of fame for the greatest wide receiver!

The greatest bond you will ever have is the one with your conjoined twin.

What's Africa's greatest sporting achievement? The 2018 World Cup...

Alfred the Great was arguably the greatest king in England’s history.

The worst? Richard the Goat Fucker.

How do you make the world’s greatest Harlem Shake?

Throw a flashbang into a room full of epileptics.

Magician: "I am the greatest magician in the whole world. Look, now you see the rabbit in the hat, and now it is gone!"

Redneck girl: "That's nothing. My dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple of hours!"

Job interview: "What's your greatest weakness?"

"Honesty."

"I don't think honesty is a weakness."

"I don't give a fuck what you think."

What was the incontinent farmer's greatest problem? He managed his carrot patch but couldn't control his peas!

Ol' Mate Shane Warne has sadly passed away. He was probably Australia's Greatest Ever Cricketer. RIP Ol' Mate Warney, died doing what you loved, having gay sex with men and doing cocaine! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Like if you RIP Shane Warne 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺

Friend: How's it going?

Me: Good, things are good!

Parent: How are you?

Me: Oh, I'm fine!

Twitter: Compose new tweet?

Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.

Arab rizz. Are you a tower? Because I wanna blow you up and don't let your friend know about this. Rashid, I told you not to blow it up, I had it.

The greatest Arab pilot, my grandfather.