New Great Jokes - Page 8 - Worst Jokes Ever

i hate when ppl make jokes ab the twin towers. my dad died on 9/11 he was a great pilot

Hello Everyone, have a great day and be positive!

The CCP have managed to achieve in making Covid last longer than the Great Wall of China.

Father: "That's great, son. Who is she?"

Son: "It's Tina, the neighbor's daughter."

Father: "Ohhh, I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something, son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Tina is actually your sister."

The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later:

Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again, and she is even hotter!"

Father: "That's great, son. Who is she?"

Son: "It's Peny, the other neighbor's daughter."

Father: "Ohhhh, I wish you hadn't said that. Peny is also your sister."

This went on a couple of times, and the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying.

Son: "Mum, I am so mad at Dad! I fell in love with six girls, but I can't date any of them because Daddy is their father!"

The mother hugs him affectionately and says:

"My love, you can date whoever you want. Don't listen to him. He is not your father!"

I wasn’t staring, I was just trying to figure out if that was your hairline or the Great Wall of China.

Gregg says to his friend, who is a girl, and says, "Hey, umm, do you, umm, want to do something?"

And the girl says, "Umm, sure, why not?"

Gregg says, "Well, then we have to go somewhere secretive."

The girl says, "Umm, well, ok."

Gregg says, "Great!" So Gregg brings Sally to a tree so no one can see them, and then Sally says, "So what are we going to do behind this big tree?"

Gregg says, "Well pull down your pants, and I'll show ya."

Sally says, "Ok, it sounds fun!" And then Gregg pulls his pants down and tells Sally to lay on the ground. Then he puts his dick in Sally's pussy, and he goes up and down, up and down, up and down, and then Sally starts to moan more and more, and then suddenly a teacher hears her moan, and then the teacher sees what Gregg and Sally are doing, and then the teacher gets in on it, and both Gregg and Sally start fucking the teacher, and then the teacher moans, and then the whole school makes their own sex groups, and the whole school has threesomes...

THE END

1st graders: Ay yo girl, I think you’re beautiful, let’s get married!!

2nd graders: Uhh, don’t tell my mom that we’re dating!! She won’t let me date! Let’s keep this a seeeeecret heeheehee.

3rd graders: Uh, my teacher told me to stay after school because I wrote a poem about you and I’m 9 years old, we have to break up, sweetie.

4th graders: Hey, I think you’re cute!! Wanna date? I don’t think my girlfriend will mind.......

5th graders (they start wearing makeup): Ay girl, your eyelashes are pretty, I like you now, wanna date? Here’s my numberrrrrr.

6th graders: Heyyyyy, I gotta tell you a secret, I got a crush on you!! Don’t tell anyone!! Byeee, ooh, I’ll text you later!

7th graders: We need to make Peyton jealous because she broke up with you!! Wanna date? I mean, you’re not hot, but still, great personalityyyyy, alright, bye now.

8th graders: Hi sweetheart, I got STARRRBUCKKKSSS

Me: UGLY AF AND LITERALLY NO BOYFRIEND.....

Good Morning! Have a Great Day!

#Ijustwokeup

Mary had a great big ram, his fleece was white as snow, when on hands and knees our Mary went, his wad was sure to blow.

Month by month her belly grew, increasing in its girth, and when five months had flown by, our Mary did give birth.

And Mary had a little lamb, a little lamb, a little lamb...

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

What's so great about dead baby jokes? They never get old.

Mr. Smith: Neona, tell us what you have for the biggest competition that we can do to keep our competitors out of the winning streak?

Neona: Will thought we used more sales and more advertising.

Mr. Smith: It's already a good idea. Now what about the business plan? We need it as recommendations to keep the business going. Tell me, what do you have in mind?

Neona: It is better to always have a plan. I was thinking that we can get higher prices and always get great deals. The people will go nuts for a great deal!

Mr. Smith: Perfect. Now let's take a 5 minute break.

Mr. Smith: Ok, 5 minutes is up! Now Neona, I know you are an intern, but what are the best things we can do for the company?

Neona: Hmm...let's see...will we can start with all the things people love! If this is going to work then we have have to......

Treon: I don't care about Vorkie.

Amber: You should, she could be a great person for the company.

Treon: We don't need another one, we got 100 people in here, no need. Now, Amber, please just go make yourself useful.

Amber: Fine!!!!!

Hi there! My name is Michael Grover, and I am an explorer. Ever since I’ve been little, I’ve loved searching for new things. As a baby, my parents kept finding me in nooks and crannies around the house. “On the search,” as they would say.

By the age of 5, I had been to every continent on the planet, barring Antarctica. For my 12th birthday, my parents got me diving lessons, and by the time I was 13, I could scuba dive to a depth of 40 meters, as well as go cave diving.

I got a pilot’s license by the age of 17, and I learned to sail just before my 18th birthday. Instead of going to university, I decided to travel around South America, exploring its rich jungles and beautiful landscapes.

During my trip, I met my now wife who was also an explorer. For our honeymoon, we sailed around the Caribbean, and we discovered 3 new islands which we named after the cats that I had growing up.

Over the course of my life, I have come across great treasures and wondrous experiences. But in all my life, and in all my travels, I’m afraid I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said.

People are like sharks; only the great ones are white.

If I make a great joke, I will pay for it.

I suffered The Great Depression.

Old soviet joke.

"Who is your mother?" "Our great Soviet country." "Who is your father?" "Our dear comrade Stalin." "What's your greatest desire?" "Becoming an orphan."