Government jokes
9/10/01
Bush: “Ok, I got this. Just act surprised and pretend to be sad and declare war on Afghanistan.”
In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Midixadrupin, Midixarizin or Dixafix.
Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw the gas bill.
Charlene's hairline was so big that Joe Biden could not make it prime minister.
Your hairline was so fat that Joe Biden could not make it prime minister.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special forces.
Once the old lady told me she had wisdom, but after she voted! 🤯
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.
Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
Where did the pirate pay his taxes?
Aye, Argh, Sea.
Why does Britain suck at chess?
They lost their queen.
Ppnutty68 is JFK's vice senior Ohio president.
I'm gonna blow out your lungs faster than Joe Biden thinks is possible with a 9mm.
The "S" in Putin stands for smart.
Why is England so bad at Clash of Clans?
Because they lost their queen.
You know, it was so cold in D.C. the other day, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
Reviews for the Chinese flag are in!
5 stars!
Nobody:
JFK: :) Hi guys!
JFK's killer: Ayo look at this shit, I just hit a clip.
What is similar between Hitler and Trump?
They both want to keep races out.
"Pootin is a pussy won't even fight in the war that he started!"
"Pootin is a pussy and Ukraine is beating Russia's ass!"
JFK tried meditating. He told everyone he is very open-minded.