Government jokes
Why did the orphan rob the bank? Because he wanted to know what it felt like to be wanted.
You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish.
Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
Why doesn't the U.S. Government play Clash of Clans?
Because they lost two towers already.
Why was the soldier reading the Geneva convention?
To-do list.
Your Mom is so fat, she could be Trump's border wall.
9/10/01
Bush: “Ok, I got this. Just act surprised and pretend to be sad and declare war on Afghanistan.”
In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Midixadrupin, Midixarizin or Dixafix.
Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw the gas bill.
Charlene's hairline was so big that Joe Biden could not make it prime minister.
Your hairline was so fat that Joe Biden could not make it prime minister.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special forces.
Once the old lady told me she had wisdom, but after she voted! 🤯
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.
Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
Where did the pirate pay his taxes?
Aye, Argh, Sea.
Why does Britain suck at chess?
They lost their queen.
Ppnutty68 is JFK's vice senior Ohio president.
I'm gonna blow out your lungs faster than Joe Biden thinks is possible with a 9mm.
The "S" in Putin stands for smart.
Why is England so bad at Clash of Clans?
Because they lost their queen.
You know, it was so cold in D.C. the other day, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.