Suicide is illegal because it's a crime to destroy government property.
Gun control...
I was rooting for Donald Trump to be president.
We haven't had a presidential assassination in a while.
If you think no one cares about you, stop paying your taxes.
Why did Hitler get hit by a car? Because he did Nazi that coming!
What was the Roman Empire cut in half by?
A pair of Caesars.
Hillary Clinton
What's Trump's favorite instrument?
A TRUMPet!!!
What kind of containers does the Pope keep his vegetables in?
Vat-I-cans!
What do you say when Trump is still president during 2020? Magic!
Why can North Korea draw a straight line? Because they've got a supreme ruler.
Yo mama so stupid, when she was in court and the judge said, "Order, order," she said, "Pizza."
What does Matthew McConaughey say at the Republican convention...
We're gonna take back what is ours, alt right, alt right, alt right, hee heeeee...
Your mum is so stupid, she tried to take the crown off a "Keep Calm and Carry On" poster so that she could become the new queen of England.
Super Boy from Korea.
Kim Jong-Un thicc af.
Did you hear about the cannibal who passed a politician in the jungle yesterday?
I hear it hurt like hell.
What do you call a dictatorial cow?
Moosilini.
Trump, must I say more?
Trump is going too far.
He deported a printer because it didn't have papers.
