New Good Jokes - Page 31 - Worst Jokes Ever

Wonder why the British are so good at chess? They have the queen.

Wonder why Americans are so bad at chess? They lost two towers.

In a proud, boastful voice, Gemma told the old Chinese woman who was babysitting her that onions were the only food that could make you cry. The woman nodded and said that was true enough. They continued eating for a while. This is really good! the little girl exclaimed. What's this meat! The old lady replied with: well there was a brown dog in your yard that wouldn't stop yapping.

Me in my dream: what a good day *rumble* ooh! What was dat I wake up and I find myself on the floor

a girl looked in the fridge she got mad that somebody at the last ice cream cone she ran into her sisters room and said this is why your fat the fell down the stairs good thing she had that belly roll to save her.

A woman is in the hospital giving birth. The doctor comes up to her afterwards.

Dr: "I'm sorry, I have good news and bad news."

Woman: "What's the bad news?"

Dr: "Your baby is Ginger."

Woman: "Ok, so what's the good news?"

Dr: "It's dead!!!"

Two guys where on a hunting trip and after the first day of hunting they don’t see anything so that decide the next day they will split up and meet back at, the fire at dinner time. After a day of hunting they meet back at the fire and the one hunter asked the other how did your day go? So the one hunter said “I had the best day ever,” I went down the hill and hunted by the train tracks and saw the hottest chick ever, we had sex for hours in every position you could think of. Then the other hunter asked him “was she a good lookin blond?” And he said “ oh I don’t know I didn’t find her head”

GF: laying down BF: GROANING GF: R U good at aiming and shooting BF: yeah why GF: Shoot that did in there BF: mmmhuugh

Me playing a game...... what did God just stop are hearts cause we didn't kill each other

Like if that was good

How does a paedophile know if he's good at sex It'll forever be a mystery because the victims too young to scream his name

My family chastises me for MY job, but you should hear how my family provides "customer service" at their jobs. My mother works as a social worker and answers the phone like, "DYFS, you beat em, we treat em." My grandmother is a Medical Examiner and she answers the phone like, "City Morgue, you kill em, we chill em." These bitches have no class! I'm an actress and studio secretary. When you call the studio, I answer the phone professionally like, "Good afternoon. IHOP, International House Of Pussy. Creampie Cassie speaking".

What do you get when you throw a pile of dead babies into a fryer? Kentucky Fried Children! What's it called when you eat those same babies? Finger Lickin' Good!