Good jokes

I cried when my dad was chopping onions. Onions was a good dog.

I can’t believe it’s been over a year since Kobe decided he’s too good to wait in traffic.

Aiden and Gwen! Are Aiden and Gwen dating? 'Cause if they are, then oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Kenya says: Yes, they are deep in love!

Tenya says: Yeah, but I think he would be good with Hoochie girl 101!

Gwen says: Guys stop! You really think that!

Tenya and Kenya say: Yes!

Kariah says: No! I belong with him. He is MINEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

Mariah says: Girl, you need to grow up!

Tenya says: Yeah! When are you guys getting married?

Lariah says: YEAH!!!!!!

Iariah says: Yeah!!!!!!!

Gwen says: Next Sunday!

All girls say: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Next Sunday, they got married! YAYAYAYYAYAYAY!

Mariah says: Congrats!

Kenya says: Yeah!

Kariah says: Hi Aiden, super cute tux!

Lariah says: Wooohoooo!

Iariah says: Yeah! U won it!

Tenya: This is you guys' time to shine!!!!!!!!

And they lived happily ever after...in hell! The end!

In the morning at 6:30 AM,

Teacher: Who fought in World War I?

Me: Trump & Biden.

Teacher: Oh ok... well good job class, see you tomorrow and study your books.

After school,

Teacher: Oh God those kids know nothing.

"She looks at her clock."

Teacher: And now I am sewed.

Kenya, if you keep smiling then you will become a positive bitchy!

Tenya, everyone hates you why I have no idea!

Kenya stop smiling and start dying!

Tenya, why are you so mean!

Kenya, stop acting like a mantrapp!

Tenya, stop being a bitch in a skirt!

Please leave a comment good or bad! cusswords whatever!

Teacher: What does a pig give you?

Little Johnny: Bacon.

Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?

Little Johnny: Wool.

Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?

Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."

Teacher: Ok class good morning, we are going to start off by what kind of sound animals make.

Teacher: Ok, what sound does a pig make?

Class: A cow says mo mo.

Teacher: Good.

Teacher: What does a sheep make?

Class: A sheep says maa maaa.

Teacher: Good! Now what does a pig say?

Little Johnny: A pig says "Put your hands up and get agenst the wall you black mother fucke*."

Roses are red, violets are violets, my dad died in 9/11 and he was a good pilot.

Here is the meaning of the name Gwen!

Good

Wise

Enough

Nice

Mean meaning of the name Gwen!

Grumpy

Words

Enough

Nasty

Prank phone calls. I did this prank last week. I picked the not so big businesses and places to do prank phone calls: Burger King, JCPenney's, and neighbors. I will tell you what I said.

Me: "Hello, this is... Zariana and I am from New York." Burger King staff: "Well we work in Florida." Me: "Good, now I want a large cake with some salad... with some eggnog... and some baby food." Burger King: "We don't serve any of that, ma'am." Me: "And I want it to go, please!" Burger King staff: "Sorry ma'am, we don't ha-" And I hung up on him right before he could say "have." Now JCPenney's ordering.

Me: "Hello, this is Trina from South Carolina." JCPenney's register: "Yes, what can I do for you, ma'am?" Me: "Excuse me?" JCPenney's register: "I was asking if there is anything you need help with, ma'am." Me: "Sorry, I can't hear you... what!" JCPenney's register: "WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO ORDER, MA'AM?" Me: "I still can't hear you! Say that again!!!" JCPenney's register: "Ma'am, can you hear correctly?" Me: "YES, I CAN... NOW YOUR GOING TO BODY SHAME THEN I WILL GIVE YOU A 1 STAR RATTING!!!!!!" JCPenney's register: "No ma'am, I was just saying tha-" Hung up.

Next one was on my neighbors, Mrs. Jarkinson. Me: "Hello, sorry to bother you, but do you know what this word means: fhermkrekm?" Mrs. Jarkinson: "What, who is this?" Me: "Ummm... Mrs. Keris!" Mrs. Jarkinson: "So what does what word mean again?" Me: "fnjfnjrfnjr!" Mrs. Jarkinson: "What!!!" Me: "fnjefnj" Mrs. Jarkinson: SO SORRY WHAT!!!!!!! Me: "Never mind!" Hehehe! Hung up on her now Mr. Morris.

Me: "Hola Sr. Morris, que pasa?" Mr. Morris: "Sorry, what, I don't speak Spanish!" Me: "Está bien ... di que no me hagas caso, ¡solo necesito ayuda!" Btw I used a translator app and I learned really quickly! Mr. Morris: "What does that even mean!" Me: "Sí señor, veo dónde está su cabeza, pero ¿cómo se hace algún libro? ¿Me parece muy difícil? Jejejeje!" Mr. Morris: WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN THOUGH!!! Me: "No señor, no se rinda en el primer intento de ballet! Debería ser fácil ... di de qué te quejas? Oh sorry I have to go!" Mr. Morris: "Wait, but what does tha-"

I bet you're wondering how I got these phone calls remembered, well I recorded them! I don't know how but I did. Btw not Spanish just learned really quickly.

So my dad walks into a bar and there was a hooker and a child. I was with him and they both approached us and they said only £50 for head but it was a little weird that the child was talking to my dad and the hooker was talking to me. I was about to say something but my dad pushed me over and my friend's uncle killed my dad.

The kid was never seen again. Her name was Madeleine McCann. I think I'm the only one who knows where she is, but overall the head from the hooker was good.

Please go subscribe to Kane Brown, people; he has good songs. Please go subscribe to him, please.

Hi! This is a good prank I did! Okay, my sister has this crush and his name is Braylon. So, he texted my sister saying he wants to hang out with her, which I think means date. So anyway, I did this. My text said, "Hi Braylon, I can't hang out today... or the other day because I have homework, so please no hang out!" This is super wrong, but funny! Braylon texted back and said, "Fine, I can help." And I texted back and said, "Oh, will come here around 10:00." And my sister did not know he was coming... She was so embarrassed, she was still in her nightgown! HAHAHAH. O to the k, bye, that's the prankster!!!!

Peyton: Okay guys, no talking about dumb and stupid things that are not important.

Ysabella: No!!!

Peyton: Oh SHUT YOUR FACE THE HECK UP!

Navaya: That makes no sense.

Isaiah: I know, right.

Kenya: You don't tell us what to do, you control freak.

Ysabella: Shush.

Kenya: BLAH!

Peyton: Now we shall be watching some amazing things on YouTube. Subject: math. aka BORING!!!!

Andre: Say, how old are you?

Kenya: What?

Andre: I'm asking her how old she is.

Peyton: That's none of your beeswax.

Andre: Okay then.

9 hours later.

Peyton: Okay class, time for science!!!

Kenya: Okay, what are we doi...

Peyton: SHUSH!!!

Ysabella: Shush.

Peyton: We aren't doing anything but playing around with all this STUFF!!! heheheheehe.

Navaya: No, thanks.

Peyton: Yes, thanks!

Mariah: Why? Oh, for science.

Peyton: Shut your mouth and watch me do this science work!!!

10 hours later.

Peyton: What else?

Ysabella: Well we can play games since that's all we have!

Peyton: WHAT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND BY SHUTING YOUR MOUTH UPPPP!?!?!?! HMMMMMMMM?

Ysabella: Sorry!

Peyton: Then act like it!

Kenya: Shush!

Peyton: Shush!

Andre: Shush. Shush!

Mariah: Andre?

Andre: Shush!

1 hour later.

Peyton: Well we have a lot of E.L.A. work to do.

Ysabella: Sweetie this is Math and Science class! Not the other classes. Peyton mocking Ysa: Sweetie this is Math and Science class. Not the other classes. I know things!

Andre: Then act like you know things.

Kenya: True.

Oliver: True that.

Peyton: SHUT IT!!!

Oliver: No! Geez.

2 hours later, clock time (7:00)

Peyton: Whooohooo we got our E L A done now time for- Ysabella: I'm going to stop you right there! We have been working all morning from 5:00 a.m. to this o'clock a.m.! Sooo KNOCK IT OFF!!

Andre: Yes, thank you Ysabella, you are now at the top of my friend list!

Ysabella: What? Whatever!

Peyton: Fine, go somewhere else and whine about it 'cause I idc!

Kingston: What does that mean, ohhhhhh.

Peyton: Idc.

Ysabe: IDC what does that mean?

Kingston: "I don't care".

3 hours has passed now and it turned to 8:00 a.m.

Peyton: What do guys want to do?

Ysabella: Play games.

Kingston: Draw!

Andre: Go home!

Peyton: Please. Well I'm picking so haha.

Kenya: Here it says that we can pick the things we want to do, it just can't be harmful or bad for us!

Oliver: Really it says that?

Kenya: Yeah, right here.

Oliver: Noice.

Peyton: Oh, go play!

Kenya: Good, byeeee!

Oliver: Peace!

1 hour later. Ysabella: Woohoo, okay yes. Kingston: What's going over there? Navaya: I don't know... oh she's playing a game! I think that's Interland, wow she is on level 78. super cool! Kingston: She on what?

Navaya: Shush, shush, shush, shush! Kingston: RUDE!! Ysabella: Whoooohooooooooooooooo!!!! Navaya: Yeah go ysa! Kingston: What is she doing- Navaya: SHUSH!!!! Kingston: WhAtEvEr!!!!! Navaya: Oliver, Mariah, Kenya! Ysa just made it to level 89!!!! Yeeeeeee!! Oliver: Cool. Mariah: ?. Kenya:?

1 hour later. still 8:00.

Ysabella: I'm on level 89,000,890. WOW!!!!

Kenya: How? Kingston: MOVE!!! Kenya: OWWW!!! Kingston: Sorry Uh I did not mean to do that, are you okay? Kenya: What do you think? Navaya: Guys stop hugging, and get over here. Kenya: Gross! Kingston: Dude? Braylon: Guys shut up!! Kenya and Kingston: WE GOT IT!!!

Ysabella: Your on level 90,890,9795, 4839,86903,6960,6 9506.996 WOOOOOOOOW!!! Kenya: That's a lot of numbers!! Kingston: SuRe is!

2 hours later, 9:09 a.m, Peyton: Okay GUYS THAT'S ENOUGH GAMES FOR RIGHT NOW! Leilani: Why Ysa so close to her winning streak of reaching 900.138.902 milion billion points and levels on Interland!! Yeeeey.Peyton: Wow, great, cool, amazing!! Who CARES!!!! I KNOW I DON'T!!!

Leilani: Yeah that's cause your heartless person! Who agrees?

All the class raised their hands. Peyton: Blah! Leilani: WHATEVER!

Peyton: Anyway the boss said that she wants us to do social studies. Who likes too? I know I don't.

5 hours later 10:10 a.m, Peyton: Okay let's see I'm reading from the passage "The great plains experienced a drought from 1932 to 1939. This nat- Madison: The answer is dust bowl! That's the answer... we did this in class and turned all our work in so y'all know yeah, end of the story. Peyton: Well what about Kenya? Kenya: I did it. Mariah: We all did it! Andre: Did you do it? Peyton: Of course I did the social studies work! Duh, I'm not an idiot. Andre: Well sure, that's what you think!

Peyton: Okay guys what shall it be for lunch? Any choices cause this is a one time thing, no seconds.

Raymond: Uh tacos.

Kingston: Wrong! Pizza!

Raymond: It's not Friday!

Ysabella: Guys stop, this is a one time thing, no second chances. They choose Pizza and Tacos. Kingston: Whateves. Raymond: No! Peyton: Okay fine I'll chose... and we will have Pizza and tacos with soda PLEASE and thanks. Raymond: Will that's not bad but I DON'T LIKE PIZZA!!! Navaya: Shut up Raymond, you're going to ruin this for us!

1 hour later.

Peyton: Okay guys, now let's get back to work!! NOW!

Kenya: No, we already did our work!

Peyton: Sure you did! Peyton rolls her eyes.

Navaya: Did you do all your work Miss.Hickman? Hmmm.

Ysabella: Yes, answer that question! Hehehehehe.

Peyton: Heheh hell.

Kingston: OOOOOOOOO you said the H word! Peyton: K so?

Kenya: Here it states "No kids shall use bad words also known as profanity in the school halls and inside the classroom". Kingston: Dang, wow! Kenya: Thanks!!

2 hours later. Peyton: Attention everyone! Attention!

Janiah: What is it now! Kenya: Yeah. David: Yes Ms. Hickman? What, I have manners. Alexis: WHAT!? Peyton: Thanks for the loud attention! Okay that's the past now who wants to learn Spanish? Janiah: Why? Not that that's a bad thing but why... WHY WOULD WE WANT TO LEARN SPANISH?! Kenya: Many reasons so we can begin a big way to not having to go to Spanish classes and other nonsense! Peyton: Sure that too and plus we're all bored right? Right!

56 mins later. Peyton: So how do you say Hello in Spanish? Kingston. Kingston: Hola, duh everyone knows that! Oliver: I don't, so thanks King thanks! Peyton: How do you say "Hello, how are you" in Spanish?

Ysabella: Hola, como estas? Boom did it! I got an A! Kenya: Good job! Ysabella: Gracias. Peyton: Wow, way to show off. how do you...

Kenya: How do you say "This is stupid" in Spanish oh wait "Esto es estupido" trust me I looked it up!! Alexis: Wow!!! did you use translate? Kenya: Si

55 mins later. Peyton: How do you say "Everyone in here is acting like jerks and morons, they won't stop interrupting me and won't SHUT THEIR faces like I asked them too do multiple times" anyone? Nevaeh Daniels raised her hand, go on Nev! Nevaeh: Todos aquí están actuando como idiotas y Imbécil, no dejarán de interrumpirme y no CERRARÁN SUS caras como les pedí que lo hicieran varias veces?

Peyton: Yes!!! But I meant that as a sarcastic type of way! Kenya: Okay freee time!!! Everyone cheers!!!

To be continued.... This is about a 11 year old girl in charge in her classroom and spending the rest of the week with annoying classmates.

4 hours later. Kingston: Will we finally got away from that witch! Jaden: Thank you universe! Madison: Wait do you mean witch as in Peyton? Kingston: Yes! Kenya: Red lipstick, Red lipstick, Red lipstick! Kingston: Red lipstick? Mariah: Yes we chose red lipstick is that a ding dang problem?! Kingston: No ma'am. Kenya: Peyton, guys RED LIPSTICK!! Do I have to say it in Spanish? Kingston: Guys Pey is on the way hurry...why? Cause she's looking for us DUMMY! Oliver: Okay ready. Geex.

1 hour later 7:00 p.m. Peyton in creepy way: Hey guys! Where are you! Kenya: Few more minutes! Ysabella: Peyton really has gone crazy!!! Kenya: Yeah shut up real quick! is it in position? Kingston: Sooooon. Kenya: Hury up you ding dang nitwit! Kingston: Blah! Kamrieiana: How is the dieinc? HOW ARE THEY?! Cornelese: There in place and don't spit in my face please. Kamrieiana: Sorry... HURRY UP MAN!!!! Jovani: HURRY Up DUDE!! Cornelese :O SHUT UP JOVANI!!!! Kenya: Hurry!!!

The next morning it was Tuesday, Peyton walked in the classroom feeling kind of mad at her classmates or co-workers. Peyton: Ugh! Stupid teachers!!!!! Leaving me in charge of the dumb class!!!! Jrks I mean JERKS!!!! Aniyah: O DANG It WHY THIS CLASSROOM!!!!!! Peyton: Blah! Aniyah: What? Peyton rolls her eyes at Aniyah. Aniyah: Keep rolling your eyes or they will get stuck up there!! Jarryd and Ethan walk in. Jarryd: O will hello Peyton! Ethan: Yes Hello.

2 mins ago. Kenya, Dijohn, Oliver, Osiris, Nevaeh, Mariah and Madison aka sisters came in. Kenya: Why this idiot? Oliver: Kenya that is mean but true at the same time. Osiris: Gotdang it I hate Peyton- Sometimes. Dijohn: I hate school and Pey too! Nevaeh: I like Pey she is nice. Kenya: Have you even met her?! Mariah: Hey guys listen I don't care about "Pey" I just came here to learn... Okay... now move Ken I got to work! Kenya: I don't blame you, excuse me!

4 minutes earlier. Dreylan, Janiah, Ji'Kyece, Laura, Braylon and Leilani both arrived TARDY. Dreylan: No, I prayed that she would not be here... PRAYED!!! Janiah: You prayed, I PRAYED 23 Times!! Ji'Kyece: Me, 45.

Laura: Enough! Save that for if it's really important! Braylon: And this is not Important!? Leilani: You guys are acting 2 year olds... 2 YEAR OLDS!!!! lets just find our seats... I mean come on, we did all of our work yesterday today will just be fun and games!! Laura: Yeah!!!

3 mins later. David, Ysabella, Kingston, Jazzlyn, Dylan,Tre'von and Jarod came in the classroom. David: Whyyyyyyyyyy! Ysabella: It should be time for Ms.Sumrall and Mrs.Lewis to get back from their stupid Teacher Trip! Kingston: Exactly! Jazzlyn: What are you guys so pissed off about? Dylan: oooooooo....oooooooo....ooooo!!! Tre'von: You said the P word! Jarod: Yeah We telln you momi! Ha...Ha...ha...ha...ha..ha...haeha! Jazzlen mama is goin to be so Mad! Jazzlen: Oh shut up witch face!!!!!!!

23 minutes later. Raymond,Y'uree, Elijah, Jessica and Bryson arrived TARDY As WELL As TARDY. Raymond: Nooooooooo! Y'uree: Yesssssss! Y'uree said yes in a sarcastic way. Jessica: whyyyy what did I do! Elijah: Man I hate School... HATE IT!!! Bryson: Wanna know who I do hate. Anthony and Peyton. Jessica: Because of that long pause thing? Bryson: Yesss, but that's not the point in this situwaytion! Raymond: True! Y'uree: True to that.

45 mins later. Peyton: Will class, hehe I sound so stupid right now but anyway we have 45 pages in our reading book to read, oh my bad... chapters! Anthony: Really? Bryson: She just said we have 45 chapters to read! Were you even listening?! Anthony: I was NOT TA- Peyton: Uh hmmm? Anthony: What...ever. Peyton: Okay guys enough of the mouth moving and more of the reading!!! Jessica: Will my book is tore in the middle section! Peyton: Gasp!!!! Fine I'll fix it! You big cry baby.

Jessica: Thanks?

All the kids came in late about around 10:10 a.m. Kingston: Help! Navaya: Shush! Hey guys we're just reviewing things since you know were in "school", and Peyton is still in charge! Ysabella: Wait why is she in charge? David: Will in contrast Mrs.Lewis and Ms.Sumrall have not returned from their so-one calls it "Vacation" so they put Peyton in charge of us since their is no substitute! Janiah: That sounds soooo stupid! David: Will do you know a substitute? Janiah: No! David: Well then.

Kenya B.

Hey guys, the prank for today is when I lied about feeling sick so I wouldn't have to go to school.

Introduction: This prank was committed a week ago! Around 5:00 a.m. in the morning!

1. I got out some eggs, milk, salt, and a little bit of mashed olives... well those are the main ingredients.

2. I mixed it all up for about 2 mins just to make it look really like barf...no going to school today!

3. I put it under the sofa just to give it some solid scent to it.

4. I fixed my breakfast eggs and bacon. Then when my mom comes down I...PULL OUT MY FAKE BARF!!!!! News flash make a fake excuse for her to leave! My excuse is "I need something its in my room I don't want to get cause it would waste time".

She fell for it. Then I pull out my FAKE barf which looks like real barf. Then you say or I said "Mom I don't feel so good"! News flash: Don't over sell it think about all that boring school work! and guess what she fell for it so I spend all day doing nothing...absolutely nothing!

Well that's the prank. Anymore pranks you want ask me in the comment section! Byeeeeeeeeeee

Funny things or weird things to say to someone.

Hey... have you kissed a girl before? Weird things to say to someone.

It's hard to find friends that [are] 91% funny, 100% nice, and 1000000% good-looking. Funny!

Weird names to call a girl: Sweetums.

Baby-Bugga-Boo.

Fuzzkins.

Lumpy.

Nilly.

Ninty Minty.

and SEXY WITCH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Gross that's why I am not getting a bf!

Carly: Hey do [you] want to have sex? [Age] (43)

Zina: No! [Age] (10)

Carly: Good cause I can make you do it anyway! [Age] (43)

What do you spot in this place that [is] gay!

Random person: "Just turn the page and start over."

Me: "I'm not sure if you're telling me to be gay or uhhhh die but both are good options."

90,900,00,1090,279402% of girls are raped. 67% of women are raped. So I guess girls are sexier than women! Who agrees? Please comment: Good or Bad.

What are the big mouths of feminists good for? Portable urinal for men.