Good news! There's a new program to help autistic people. It's called Action T-4.
Me: I need a good roast. My friend: take me
i like dicks.......sporting goods
so the man asks me, "Jesus how do you want your steak "
so I said, "well done, my good faithful servant, well done.
Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, “Who created the Earth?” And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, “MY GOD!” And the teacher says, “Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth.” Sally sits down. Then, the teacher asks, “Where do you go after you live a good life?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, “HEAVENS TO BETSY!” And the teacher says, “Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life.” Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around. And then, the teacher asks the class, “What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around, and says, “If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I’m gonna lose it!” And the teacher faints.
My wife is a whore so I pimped her out and broke her mentally and emotionally, taught her a good lesson of being a real woman loyal to her man, end of story you women are bitches
She said you can twerk so I put her in a tractor and put her to work, she got mad at me and said "there's no good men" but I gave her a kob and equal pay!
Three sons left home, went out into the world and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they'd given to their elderly mum.
'I built a big house for our mum,' said the first.
'I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur,' said the second.
And the third smiled and said, 'I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren't so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it.'
A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,
'The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house.'
To the second son she said, 'I'm far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I've hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude.'
To the third son she wrote 'Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!'
5 Cobra Kai Facts: 1: Johnny = Daniel 2: Miguel > Robby 3: Miyagi Do = Eagle Fang 4: Chozen And Daniel > Kreese And Silver 5: Tory is actually a good person.
This is how to die soft 101
yo bro you good ? you need a hug?
"Oh, waiter! Waiter!"
"Yes, sir?"
"Do you have frog's legs?"
"Why, yes."
"Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!"
i can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere, i think you two would be really good friends
Girls are like bacteria. The toxic ones are everywhere and you have to take special care of the good ones.
Good news people michael jackson is still alive, they found him hidden away in a goat pen with all the kids
I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but there family died
My wife said why oh why have you ordered carpet, our house is lovely
Thank fully the carpet was put to good use in the end, no more stupid comments coming from a rolled up emily in the bottom of the ocean
Me: You know you parents were very good people Orphan: Wow I didn’t know that Me: I know your an orphan
when i was very young... my classmates played a game called kiss chase, some were really good at catching the girls and then kissing them They are rapists now
why are you sitting down and pee i dont have a good back and cant lift something BIG
(True story)
One day Sally's mom said "I can just eat you up!" And Sally says "no you can't!" Then the mom asks why and Sally says "because I'm a beaner and we don't taste good."
