Good jokes
Why are 9/11 victims so good at reading?
Because they can go through 100 stories in 5 minutes.
These jokes have a good build up, but in the end, they all come crashing down.
Friend: How's it going?
Me: Good, things are good!
Parent: How are you?
Me: Oh, I'm fine!
Twitter: Compose new tweet?
Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.
Why does Satan worship himself?
Jesus told him to worship God.
If the USA is so good,
Why did they make a USB?
Are your parents bakers? Because you're a cutie pie.
Are you a loan? Because you've got my interest.
Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!
If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.
Are you an artist? Because you’re really good at drawing me in.
I believe in following my dreams. Can I have your Instagram?
If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.
If you were a flower, you'd be a daaaaaamn-delion!
Yo, little sister, pussy taste so GOOD on my TONGUE!
Why is the cheetah super good at hide and seek tag? Because he was too fast!
"Love is a good thing, never be embarrassed by it."
A handicapped person tells a good joke, but he can't be a stand up comedian.
The Good Old Days.
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
What does Finn Wolfhard do when he makes a good joke?
He drops the Mike.
My dad is so good at hiding, even the FBI can't find him.
I worry about him sometimes.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and the Leaning Tower of Pisa?
The Leaning Tower of Pisa has good reflexes.
"I'm very good in sports."
"In which sports?"
"EA Sports."
As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.
Why are orphans so good at GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
"Goodness, that's what Post Malone sounds like?"
"Give me some pre-Malone hip hop any day!"
Organise my brother's bucks party and got confused when he asked for a hot 22 year old for I brought him 20 two yr Olds....
Good thing my brother's a little bit different.
Right, I have a dog and his name is Syndrome, and whenever he is good, I go "Good Syndrome," but whenever he is naughty, I go "Down Syndrome."