I sat down and reminisced about the past. I remembered all the people I've lost along the way.
Maybe becoming a tour guide wasn't a good idea.
Good Jokes
What's the difference between Donald Trump and an orange?
The orange tastes good.
Your hairline so far back.
Even LeBron James had a good laugh!
doctor: you need to eat healthy.
me: no.
doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.
me: oh my goodness.
doctor: in a plane crash.
me: that sounds unrelated.
doctor: I'm the one that crashed it. Do not disobey me!
You signed up for football, but you're no good.
You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!
How do you call a very good lemonade?
Fantatastic!
You have to be a good mom to be a MILF.
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
Here is a good joke: asking for consent before sex.
What do you call someone who subscribes to Toast4128 on YouTube?
A very good person.
You look good now, but you’d look better hanging from my ceiling. ;)
I'm great!! I'm good. I'm doing good hahaha. I mean "well" haha! Haha I'm doing well, not good! Haha I'm not doing good! I'm not doing so good.
I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.
Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.
A woman was sitting alone at a bar, and a man approached her. He asked her why she looked so sad. She responded that her boyfriend had just broken up with her because she was too kinky.
The man expressed his amazement when he admitted that his girlfriend had dumped him because of his fetishes. After a few drinks, they decided to go back to her place.
When they arrived, she told him to make himself comfortable while she freshened up. The man complied. After a long time, she burst open her bedroom door and said, "I hope you're ready!"
She stood in the doorway wearing a latex body suit and a gas mask. She had a whip in one hand, a flogger in the other hand, and a 12-inch strap-on dangling between her thighs.
The dude looked at her and said, "Thanks, but I'm good for the night!"
She said, "I thought you said that you were kinky."
The dude replied, "While you were in there, I f-cked your cat, pissed in your plants, and came on your curtains. It's been fun!"
Stop hating on pedophiles. At least they're good babysitters.
Why are 9/11 victims so good at reading?
Because they can go through 100 stories in 5 minutes.
These jokes have a good build up, but in the end, they all come crashing down.
Friend: How's it going?
Me: Good, things are good!
Parent: How are you?
Me: Oh, I'm fine!
Twitter: Compose new tweet?
Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.
Why does Satan worship himself?
Jesus told him to worship God.
