Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?
All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
Good Will Jokes
Teacher: Okay class, what's a word that begins with A?
Student: Apple!
Teacher: Good! What's a word beginning with B?
Student:....Bitch...
You must have a good power supply, because you're easy to turn on!
I thought today was going to be a good day when I woke up this morning. But then I got to the store and they said they were out of rope.
Whoever took my dildo,
I hope you're having a good time.
Why aren't orphans good at Monopoly?
They don't know what a house is.
Why is an orphan really good at being naughty?
Because they have no one to tell them off.
Why is an orphan good at being naughty?
Because they don't have no one to tell them off.
Somebody’s son said, "Mom, my dick has white stuff coming out of it." She said, "Oh, good one, son, so when’s the baby coming?"
I was thinking of a good accident joke, and I asked my sister. She said, "you."
What are you good at?
Dying. Dammit, I fail at that too.
I started crying when dad was cutting onions.
Onions was such a good dog.
A good dog name is Syndrome. That way when it tries attacking, you can yell, "Down, Syndrome!"
Me: *writes Kahoot about me then finishes.*
Me and friend: *plays Kahoot.*
A question: When is (my name) happy?
Friend: *puts a good answer and gets wrong.*
Answer: Never, only a portion.
Friend: Do you need help?
On a scale of 8 to 10, how good do I look?
I used to know a guy from a nudist colony.
Man, I tell you, nothing looked good on him!
Teacher: Describe a penguin.
Student: Black, white, beak.
Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan.
Student: Sad, maybe depressed, no family.
Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow.
Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes.
Teacher: No! How does that describe a cow?
Student: It describes you tho.
It's not surprising there isn't a whole lot of good tree jokes.
Most foresters have a wooden personality.
It was pornography class, and there was a break.
Two adults were "having a good time" till the teacher says...
Teacher: Hey! SAY ALL THE NUMBERS TO 10,000 NOW!
Adult 1: How about I say my ABC's?
Teacher: Go ahead, I guess...
Adult 1: A B C E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Teacher: Where's the D?
Adult 2: Inside me...
Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down.
Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.
And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.
