GF: Laying down.
BF: GROANING
GF: Are you good at aiming and shooting?
BF: Yeah, why?
GF: Shoot that did in there.
BF: Mmmhuugh
Me playing a game...... what did God just stop are hearts cause we didn't kill each other
Like if that was good
How does a paedophile know if he's good at sex It'll forever be a mystery because the victims too young to scream his name
My family chastises me for MY job, but you should hear how my family provides "customer service" at their jobs. My mother works as a social worker and answers the phone like, "DYFS, you beat em, we treat em." My grandmother is a Medical Examiner and she answers the phone like, "City Morgue, you kill em, we chill em." These bitches have no class! I'm an actress and studio secretary. When you call the studio, I answer the phone professionally like, "Good afternoon. IHOP, International House Of Pussy. Creampie Cassie speaking".
What do you get when you throw a pile of dead babies into a fryer?
Kentucky Fried Children!
What's it called when you eat those same babies?
Finger Lickin' Good!
Wanna hear a joke about Donald Trump?
Ok, Melania totally married him for his good looks, believe me!
my dad died in 9/11. he was such a good pilot
========================= (pre-election 2016) Trump Hating Comedian at seedy East L.A. comedy club -
"Hey how 'bout that Donald Trump chump.... what the fuck up with that dude, man ?
"Geeeezus, he got some kuh-razy ass shit spewing endlessly out that pie-hole, 24/8!" (< leap week, muthafukas !)
. . . "I mean, even his last name rhymes with shit that's synonymous for bein' fucked up, for instance ....
STUMP : TEENY DICK
BUMP : TINY TIT
GUMP : DIMWITTED MOVIE IDIOT GUY
MUMP : A FUCKED UP CHILDREN'S DISEASE
LUMP : IF IT'S MALIGNANT, YOU'RE KINDA FUCKED
UMP : OFTEN MAKES TERRIBLE CALLS
RUMP : AN ASS
DUMP : A PILE OF SHIT THAT CAME OUT OF AN ASS
HUMP : SOMETHING DADDY DID TO HIM DAILY THROUGHOUT CHILDHOOD
PUMP : SEE "HUMP"
. . . and last, but definitely not least --
JUMP : JUMP INTO A DEEP VAT 'O SCAT MOTHER FUCKER, AND GO STRAIGHT TO HELL BITCH !! ....
HA!HA!HA!HA ! YESSS !!
.... well boys and girls, that's gonna be about it for me, as I think my explosive diarrhea is about ready to take a big turn for the worse !"
......(splort !, plop !, drip !) ....... OOOOPS ! 'snif, snif' ........
..... ewwwwww !!
(audience growing uneasy and unruly)
"Fuhhk ! ... I better go now , 'cause I just went ! ... ha! ha! ha! ...... Yikes !!
GOOD NIGHT LAZIES, AND GERBILMEN ! PLEASE DRIVE RECKLESSLY !
(curtain drops)
(continuous laughter, guffaws, cheers, jeers, queers, beers, pants peeing, beaters beating, pepper sprayin', fists fuckin', guns poppin', blood pumpin')
"OH LORDY !!... I THINK HELL HATH FINALLY COMETH,
... AND ARMAGITTIN' THE FUCK OUTTA HEEE !!"
(one very quick curtain call, and swiftly out the back door to an awaiting taxi ............ with ALL the windows rolled down) Whew ! ............ Amen. ==============================
Anyone got any good Floyd jokes? I really need them to take my breath away.
I did a walk today but I did have a good day tomorrow night I
Whats the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? Ones a good year and ones a great year
Hi how are you? Are you good?
Have a good summer
What is a good time
Hi 👋 I have some good
Angel is a good word
Why did the duck say hi to the other butt because he wanted it to smell good
Arent I beary good
Arent I badly good
Hi 👋 I have some good idea 💡 was the best game I had to get in my
